The Dad and I decided that we needed another computer. I was tired of waiting on The Dad to be done watching noodling clips on YouTube so I could get on with much more serious stuff - like playing with my new Twitter account! (Do you twitter? Follow me!)
The Daughters were notorious for double teaming me! One would scream something about blood causing me to run at the back of the house, while the other would snatch up the laptop. When I would return, they'd use my lack-of-knowledge against me and say, "But, we're playing math games, Momma!" And who am I to stand in the way of anyone who wanted to further their knowledge of ... what's that called? Math?
So, after much research (on the singular, solitary laptop, while I watched Friends reruns since I didn't have a computer to play on), The Dad decided that we needed to jump into the world of Mac. In our own town, no one sells macs, so we'd have to journey south, across the border (of our county) and into the city. They had a couple of huge techno-mega stores with pimply kids who really couldn't answer any of our Mac questions - other than to say. "They are so cool! Everyone loves them!", so we'd have to go to the official Apple store...And since Valentine's is coming up, we'd make it a date!
The Apple store is in the big city mall; we'd have to go to the mall. On a Saturday Night. Of Valentine's Weekend.
Smart? Not so much.
It took us 39 minutes from the time we pulled into the parking lot until we actually found a parking spot. Correction: it took ME 28 minutes to find a parking spot after I let The Dad out so he could sprint into the Apple store. He was convinced that everyone there was going to be going Apple shopping!
After I parked two football fields away at the, well, football field at the neighborhood mega-high school, I hiked into the mall and set about trying to find the Apple store. I made my way through Macy's and passed by two - yes two - 75% off shoe racks and didn't even stop. And although I was accosted by the perfume lady and "Flowering Rebel" really did complement my natural floral scent, I trudged on to find the Apple store. I was on a mission! A quest!
I found the mall "You Are Here" map, but couldn't find a listing for "Apple Store". I looked alphabetically and by store type. Eventually, after a massive search I found a little bitty icon of a bitten piece of fruit and knew exactly where I needed to be. And I kinda, sorta had a plan on how to get there.
I strutted through a group of girls who were texting and giggling and then sharing it with each other. I sauntered by a group of boys who were trying to find just the right balance between too much boxer-showing and way too much boxer-showing. I walked, stiff-legged by the pretzel company, then walked back by, then decided to get some nacho-mustard dipping sauce for the pretzel bites after all. I continued on my journey to the land of Mac, silently wishing I hadn't gotten stopped at the pretzel hole only because I ran into the cookie store... you know the kind the makes the cookies with a pound of buttercream icing between two lard-infested cookies? But, since I had the pretzels, I couldn't eat a cookie sandwich, could I? I could, however, get a cookie sandwich, tuck it into my purse and eat it later, right?
And three double doozies later, I am on my way to my destination - again. I had to throw my chap stick and hand sanitizer away to make room for them, but life is about sacrifices, and I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes!
Eventually, with a much-too-short stop at a book store, I find my way to the Apple store, where I run into no less than six sales persons who all would like to help me with my "Mac adventure" (three of whom actually said, "Once you go Mac, you'll never go back!"). I spot The Dad as he's shaking hands with a pasty man named "Job" (no kidding), then he picks up a way cool shoulder strap bag and a printer box and proceeds to walk to the front of the store.
I had missed all the Mac action! Our big Valentine date where we would go to the mall together and hang out together was, for all intents and purposes, over!
As we made our way back to the car, major purchases in hand and on back (with the uber cool sling bag!), I sighed a big sigh. I wanted our big night to be off the chain, dog! (Or is it dawg?)
On the bright side, I did have three double doozy cookies in my purse, and those little babies would insure that I would, regardless of how much I acted like a teenager, I would never, ever, never have saggy pants!
