some yum yum food (as opposed to spaghetti from the cafeteria!).
One of these lunch runs to my favorite burger joint left me scrambling for time. At this place, they put your to-go orders in a sack. They also put your dine-in orders in a sack. Basically when they ask if your order is for dine-in or carry-out, they're just making conversation because either way, the order will look exactly the same when they hand it to you.
I called in my order and drove the 7 minutes to go pick it up. I stood in line behind a very frantic looking woman. When she got up to the counter, she placed her order and then one of the counter workers said to her, "Are you a grandma yet?" Obviously, they knew each other; otherwise it was a very rude question!
The Frantic Woman then proceeded to tell the story of how she was indeed a grandma when her daughter spent no less than 72 hours in hard labor before delivering a beautiful baby girl.
As she took a breath from her very detailed labor story (the term "canned spinach" was used to describe the scene on more than one occasion!), the counter girl asked my name. I told her and she turned to get it. She returned with my sacks and the Frantic Woman continued with her story. Still in great detail. She paused right after announcing that the "Damn doctor made my grandbaby - my first born grandbaby - retarded, but just for about 20 mintues. She's fine now."
As she took yet another breath, leaving us all hanging as to how the damn doctor made the baby retarded for just 20 minutes, the counter girl asked if my order was for here or to go. I said it was to go, not that it mattered it was always handed over in a sack. But she shook her head, said a curse word and returned my orders to the kitchen area. When she returned (empty handed), the Frantic Woman continued her story. This time we got to hear in great detail how her grandbaby would only "suck the left boob and not the right boob". Somehow, this was the damn doctor's fault as well.
She took a breath from her story (which included a scene where the daughter accidently squirted her newborn baby in the nose) and the counter girl turned to me and said, "May I help you?" as if she'd not seen me standing there for the last 15 minutes!
Long story short (too late, I know!) I got my order 25 minutes after walking in. I rushed back to school and delivered the lunches to the office, where my salivating co-workers were waiting on me. I explained why I was so late, leaving out no details of the Frantic Woman's story. The art teacher - a very sweet, quiet soul - looked at me and said, "I have a book you need to read."
I was certain she was going to pass off a devotion book about having patience with those who have retarded grandbabies (if only for 20 minutes) or maybe a self-help book on presenting yourself as a kind person to all (including those who sack and resack your order five times). Instead, the next day, a Friday, she brought me a book called We're Just Like You Only Prettier by Celia Rivenbark. She said it would help me understand the breed of people I had dealt with at my favorite burger joint.
Since it was Friday, my class had silent reading time. First hour, I picked up Only Prettier (as I affectionately call it), and I finished the book by sixth hour. I just about peed my pants from laughing about four times that day. (I laughed more; I only peed my pants about four times, though.) I had about seven students say to me, "Mrs. D, why are you shaking so hard?" but I couldn't answer them because I was laughing!
It was that day that Celia Rivenbark became my hero. (Gulp. Excuse me while I compose myself!) And I think of her every time I go get a burger at my favorite burger joint!
So, today, as I conclude my summer (today is the first day of school for me and The Daughters!), I conclude my summer reading give aways with my favorite author, Celia! (I've never met her, but I'm sure she'd want me to call her Celia!) AND, you could win TWO of her books: We're Just Like You Only Prettier (I'm giving away the real-life, hand-held book, not the kindle version) AND her latest book You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl (which was just released this week).
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| This book was published WAY before Ms Lambert even thought of plagairizing! |
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| I am going to pretend that Celia wrote this for me. |
To be entered, all you have to do is leave a comment here telling me how you like your burgers! (Easy enough, huh?) You have until Saturday, August 20 at midnight to leave a comment! If you are a blog follower, leave a seperate comment telling me that fact and you'll get a second entry! If you aren't a blog follower yet, you can become a blog follower and then tell me that to get your second entry! I'll use Random.org to determine the winner and announce the winner on Sunday, August 21.
(To be a blog follower, click on the JOIN THIS SITE button under the right side heading called Tailgaters with all the purty pictures of my current followers!)
Good luck!!
