Daughter 2 apparently has a little virus. Of course she does. We've been in school over three weeks and managed to stay fairly healthy, so it would stand to reason that out of no where, she would begin running a fever.
As is the case when one of my babies is sick in the middle of the night, they'll climb right over The Dad in order to get to me. The Dad will completely ignore the knee to his groin in order to pretend to be sleeping. The sick Daughter (in this case Daughter 2) and I will trek to the living room, grab our snuggly blankies and settle in on the recliner. When The Daughters were younger (and I had WAY more energy), I would snuggle in with the sick Daughter and sing sweet songs to her and talk about princesses and fairies and cupcakes and frogs.
Nowadays, though, we trek to the living room, grab our snuggly blankies, settle in on the recliner and I begin snoozing after handing over the remote to the sick Daughter.
Last night we followed the latter scene. I securely placed the remote in Daughter 2's hot little hands and dropped my jaw and began droolin' and snoozin'. I felt confident in the assumption that Daughter 2 would watch the iCarly episode where Sam gets in trouble and Freddie lusts after Carly and Spencer does something stupid.
It didn't seem like I had even gotten the proverbial 20 winks when Daughter 2 nudged me and said, "Momma, I wanna talk about breasts."
Oh, heavens. Really? She's in second grade and it's three in the morning!
"Honey child," I whispered, "You're only seven years old. You'll get breasts when you're older." Then I kissed her cheek and said, "Now, let Momma get some sleep."
"No!" she protested, "I wanna talk about YOUR breasts."
Wha--?
"I don't know if you've noticed, but your breasts sag and aren't perky. I bet you never even had a bra that fits correctly."
Who is this kid and why is she interviewing for a job at Belk as a certified bra fitter? Her fever must be really high...
"Momma, I know you feel really conscious about this. But, do you know that help is available?"
"Help?" I mumbled, letting my eyes adjust to the glow of the television.
"And if you act now, Momma, you can get three FREE Genie bras when you buy three Genie bras. And it doesn't even matter if you have small, droopy breasts!"
There ya have it: small, droopy breasts.
I grabbed the remote and changed the channel before she began telling me how I could look good naked. Not sure exactly how that works, but I'm pretty sure it did not involve my most favorite activity: Sleep!
