A toilet paper tutorial

My biggest fear is running out of toilet paper.  OK, it's actually a close second behind traumatic and devastating things happening to my family.   But, right after that, comes my fear of sitting on the toilet only to discover that we have no toilet paper in the house.  To address this paranoia of mine, I stock pile toilet paper like the elderly stock pile cat food and jello.


My biggest annoyance - not to be confused with my biggest fear - was sitting down and not having toilet paper handy.  I say was because I've now taken to storing the big ol' 12 pack of double-rolls right in front of each toilet in our home.  It's not a designer look you'll see on HGTV, but it works for me.

I imagined how grand my life would be with my biggest fear and my biggest annoyance behind me (pun intended, go ahead, snicker a little bit).

Seriously.  Every time.
 It's not rocket science!

Then I went to the bathroom.

As I sat down and took care of my bidness, I glanced to my left and discovered that in a house full of three highly intelligent people (not counting myself), not one of them could actually put toilet paper on the roll.  Although, maybe I should count myself among the smarties since I know how to actually change out the toilet paper rolls!

Of course, when confronted, none of them ever use the last of the toilet paper.  They always have a fresh roll of toilet paper when they go in.

"YES, YOU DO!" I screamed at them.  "I'M FOREVER CHANGING TOILET PAPER OUT!"  (That quote's going to be part of my Mother of the Year speech.)

So, I gave them an brief workshop (45 minutes) instructing them on how they, too, could put a new roll of toilet paper on the spinner-dealie-thing.  It's a marketable skill, afterall. Their lives were lacking before my enrichment exercise.  At the end, I offered a brief PowerPoint quiz for extra credit to which all three of them declined.  Lazy.

I'll share my instructions with you in case you, too, have this same issue.  Feel free to print these off and  laminate them for your own bathroom.  I've already done so.

1.  Pull or push (your choice) the hard plastic spinner until it's free from the end of the holder.  

2.  Place empty roll in trash container.  (That's the rectangle box beside the toilet that holds empty toilet paper rolls, used Q-tips, blown-into tissues, and socks.  Socks?  Wait a minute...)

3.  Place NEW, FULL roll of toilet paper onto hard plastic spinner and insert one end into holder.  Press back and position the other end into the other holder.  Gently release.  

Next week, I'll be providing a seminar on flushing.  It'll probably be a two-part lecture.  I'll post it to YouTube for your use if needed.


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