All I want is a lock box.
If I had a lockbox, I would probably have not wasted the last 30 minutes of my life looking for scissors. By the way, I never found them. I did, however, get a wise recommendation to just use a butter knife.
If I had a lockbox, would have not wasted almost an hour yesterday looking for Scotch tape. I found it, but it was covered in Barbie hair. Then I wasted three minutes picking off Barbie hair only to discover there was maybe three inches on the roll.
If I had a lockbox, I would not have had to hide the last remaining box of Hostess HoHos (that I crawled on the floor of Hellmart to get) in the freezer only to eat one--ONE--before my family discovered the box and devoured every last one of my HoHos quicker than Kirstie Alley can gain and-slash-or lose fifty pounds.
In my lockbox, I'd also keep my hair brush. Weird thing about my hair brush: "Nobody" uses it, but it's never in my bathroom in the morning. My guess is that the Barbies use it before heading out on the town (or the bathtub), then collect their loose hairs with my tape.
If I had a lockbox, I'd know exactly where my screwdriver is at all times. Yes, I have a screwdriver. No, I never know where it is. Yes, I've told my family to keep their filthy paws off my tools. No, they have never listened to me.
Inside my lockbox, I'd keep all of my pens. These suckers are never around when I need one. I've written checks with highlighters. I've signed permission slips with toothpicks dipped in ketchup. I signed my Christmas cards with a pink Crayola marker, for heaven's sake!
My lockbox would also have to be big enough to accommodate my tape measure, my flash drives, my diamond earrings and even my fuzzy socks. I should not have to hunt through my house like I'm on safari to find these things.
Yeah ... a lockbox is all I want for Christmas. What a fabulous gift that would be!
What on the top of your holiday wish list?
