Thirty minutes ago, I cleaned the house. And it's still clean! Yes, please - take a moment to read that again...The house is still clean!
And do you know HOW I've been able to acheive a feat such as a house that stays clean? I am home alone!
Last weekend, the family and I picked up the house and then picked up the house and then picked up the house. It wasn't that it was so dirty that we had to clean in stages (this time), it's that I live with other people!
Prior to getting married, I had an apartment by myself. Once a week, I would dust and do the floors and clean the toilets. It would take me less than 30 minutes to clean the house. Then The Dad came into my life and I would dust and do the floors and clean the toilets once a week -- and pick up the living room and the bedroom once a day.
Then I became a momma.
And I have rarely had a clean house since.
Let's go back to last weekend. I'd had enough of the stuff just being tossed about the living room, the family room, the kitchen, the bathrooms.
"Enough of the stuff!" became my battle cry! The whole family was involved. Mainly they were involved because they thought we were having guests - which is essentially the only time we actually get seriously about straightening up the house. They were sorely disappointed when I told them (after the house was clean) that we were doing this just because I wanted it picked up.
I rallied them with my mantra, "Enough of the stuff!" And we picked up a week's worth of newspapers (and we don't even subscribe!) and 42 books - including 3 overdue library books (yes, I am a librarian - what of it?). I walked to the garage to take a bag of trash to the trashcan, came back in and there's more stuff!!
"Enough of the stuff!" and we pick up the four dozen stuffed animals who were playing hospital in front of the TV and I walked back to the bathroom to put up the band aids and Ben-gay. I came back into the front room and discovered it trashed again!
"Enough of the stuff" I cried as we picked up the six pairs of softball cleats and 22 wiffle balls.
As the day wore on, my motivational monologue did to...Eventually, I cried, "Enough!" It wasn't worth it. Phyllis Diller once told me (well, not me personally, but I totally take it personally!) that cleaning the house while your children live at home is living shoveling snow in a blizzard. And since I do everything Phyllis tells me to do, I had decided to stop cleaning.
Except that today, I found myself home alone. Now, I know what you are thinking, "Home alone and you are cleaning the house??" It's the little things, people. Daughter 2 is at a sleepover; Daughter 1 and The Dad are at an LPGA event. (Basically, The Dad is channelling Earl Woods and instilling a love for the money-making game at an early age!) And, I? I cleaned the house, ordered my favorite burger and ate it while watching true-crime stories and staring lovingly at my freshly cleaned home.
I know it won't last. I'm not completely lost in la-la land!
I know that eventually my house will be filled with the sounds of Wizards of Waverly Place and things spilling onto clean and shiny floors.
I know that when they burst through the door, they'll bring with them piles of dust that will settle on the bookshelves and TV stand and will remain there until The Daughters draw little hearts and flowers on it.
I know that while the laundry and the dishes are caught up NOW - eventually, there will come a time when we'll be thirsty and there will be NO clean and empty cups.
Until then, I'm gonna sit in the comfy chair, eating - out in the open - my fair share of the hidden M & M's I have stashed away, enjoying my clean house...
... and missing my family, thankful I have them in my life to create messes!!
