This week, our fam met up with some friends at a nearby pumpkin patch and corn maze. I had never been to a corn maze before and my gosh! That sounded like a rip-roarin' fun time!
Seriously! To wander aimlessly with no interruptions or distractions other than the occasional rabbit hopping through the corn looking for a forgotten treat - what a life! Certainly something that I had only heard about through Disney movies since... well, how old is Daughter 1? So, I was excited to just go get lost and have some fun on this fine, sunny, breezy Fall day!
We paid our entrance fee to the maze and prepared to enter. The corn-mazer told us that there were a total of six mazes within the corn field. The entrance/exit to each maze was marked with a little yellow sign. Inside of each maze, there was an additional little yellow sign that contained a piece of trivia. If we collected all six pieces of trivia, we would win a PUMPKIN!!
I liked the way this man talked because - as you all already know - I'm not one to spend a lot of money on pumpkins!
After getting our instructions and being wished well by the bumpkin who laughed at me when I said, "Easy enough!" to his trivia challenge, we were off.
The other momma - who is apparently smarter than I am - stayed out of the maze (in the breeze) with her baby...Just one more reason I need a baby - at least during Halloween! The other daddy took their two sons and entered the maze. The Daughters along with their friend sprinted into the maze. The Dad totally disappeared. But he's so competitive, I figured he'd have some covert plan of action to win his OWN pumpking.
So, I jogged after The Daughters plus One hollering for them to wait up. I had memories of sixth grade girl scout camp!
We entered the maze and it was nothing short of amazing! The corn really was as high as an elephant's eye! The sun was shaded from our eyes. The wind was blocked from ruffling our hair. There was a calm, quietness about the maze that made me think I was at a spa. OK - it would be a spa in the middle of a cornfield in Kansas, and I will be the first to admit that I have limited spa experience!
I caught the tail end of The Daughters plus One just entering Maze 1. "Wait up!" I called in my best-friend voice. They looked back, paused for just a moment, then took off full-speed ahead. Clearly, I would have to pick up the pace! The Daughters plus One zipped this way and that way and announced that there was no trivia sign at all.
I was a little winded from all the zippin' and I tried to tell them that there was a sign in each maze, but they took off out of Maze 1 and entered Maze 2. I took a deep breath and stumbled into Maze 2. If I didn't know better, I'd think those girls were trying to lose me. But I did know better... right? I knew better...???
And we were done with Maze 2 and on to Maze 3... then Maze 4... then Maze 5. Still, we had no trivia answers, which meant we were getting no pumpkin. The Daughters plus One were so far ahead of me into the maze... Where was the flippin' breeze? It was HOT in this maze! I also could swear that the corn stalks were still growing.... slowly closing in on me. I was starting to have flashbacks to 'Nam. No, that's not right. I was flashing back to "Platoon", but there was no Charlie Sheen in this jungle. I was on my own. Then I heard The Daughters plus One scream, followed by The Dad's voice. I would be saved... if only they could find me!
I ran toward the sounds of their voices and tripped on a bent over stalk, falling right at the feet of The Dad. He offered me his hand and I said, "No, Gump! Leave me here! I've got a destiny to fulfill. Go get that free pumpkin!" And, just like Forrest, he picked me up and led our battalion back through each maze collecting all six trivia answers, claiming our free pumpkin!
We emerged from the maze three days later.
The other momma said it was only about an hour or so later, but what does she know? She's on baby time!
The other dad and his two sons clearly beat us out of the maze because when we took those final steps back toward civilization and out of the corn, we were greeted by their yawning faces. Plus, they had already picked out their pumpkin!!
We left the patch and corn maze and loaded the free pumpkin into the van. By the time we got home, the free pumpkin was leaking. Wait... What? We just spent a hot, breezeless afternoon running through a corn stalk jungle for a faulty pumpkin?
OK, fine... the neighborhood boys can have that one!
