The Daughters decided to have a spa day.
Originally, it was my idea. I had begged and pleaded and even offered to pay in chocolate AND money if anyone - anyone at all - would rub my feet with coconut-lime lotion to give the impression of being in some tropical locale. Of course, no one thought THAT was a great idea. It's not that I'm bitter. It's that I'm really, really bitter. Money! I offered cold hard cash and no one took me up on the offer.
Wait... what was I talking about??
Oh yeah - The Daughters decided to play spa WITHOUT ME!
Daughter 1 was going to be the spa customer and Daughter 2 was going to be the spa worker. Daughter 2 started by running the bath water. We were out of bubbles, so she placed an entire bar of soap over the drain and directly under the running water. Then, Daughter 1 announced that she really wanted something to make her skin soft. We didn't have any bath oil, so Daughter 2 added olive oil.
Daughter 2 then climbed up on the kitchen sink and retrieved the lighter. I keep it above the sink so that The Daughters won't have easy access to it. See how that's working out for me? Then, she climbed up on the counter to reach the candles on top of the refrigerator. After she picked out a nice vanilla-scented votive and set it in a coffee cup she placed it on the back of the toilet. (Side note: Later, when I'd go in to clean up said spa day, I'd discover that the toilet that held the lovely scented candle had not been flushed... in quite some time!)
Daughter 2 then escorted Daughter 1 into her scented bath and proceeded to lay a towel on top of her - while she was laying in the bathtub - because "no one wants to look at that!" Then Daughter 2 began massaging Daughter 1's arms and hands and feet and legs. Daughter 1, however, complained that it was too bright. But, if they turned off the lights, then Daughter 2 couldn't see what she was doing. This, my friends was the first time they found a problem with their spa day.
They're innovative girls; smart little buggers, too! It took them very little time go come up with a great idea!!! Daughter 2 will slice cucumbers to put on Daughter 1's eyes!
BUT ... The cucumbers were bad. Apparently, those green containers don't work after 8 weeks or so. They don't tell you that on TV!
Since I was needed to do the actual slicing, I got to stand beside Daughter 2 with the fridge door wide open (and the temp about 20 degrees higher than the outside temp!) as she decided what to do about this spa issue.
"Tomatoes are too juicy, right , Momma?"
"Ummm... yeah."
"Grapes are too small, right?
"Right."
"I think she'd be able to see through the rings if we used onions, huh?"
"Probably so."
"If we sliced green peppers, they are empty in the middle, right?"
"Except for seeds, empty."
"HEY! I know... slice up that big fat carrot. That'll work!"
So, Daughter 1 relaxed in an olive-oil bath, covered in a heavy, soaking wet towel next to an unflushed toilet with hard slices of carrots on her eyes.
I, on the other hand, had a great garden salad with a little olive oil vinaigrette.
Maybe I'm a little bit glad they wouldn't play spa with me!
