After we finished a full day of checking our lists twice, we decided to drive through McGaggles and get some french fries to tide us over until we got home. It was a gorgeous Indian Summer day, so we had our windows down. When we were one car back (and about 15 minutes away from actually GETTING our order), a very large horsefly or possibly a black hornet or maybe a prehistoric dinosaur bug flew into the front seat with me and Daughter 2.
Without thinking twice, Daughter 2 undid her seatbelt and scampered into the middle seat with her sister. Daughter 1, assuming that the monster bug was after her sister and only her sister, slid open the side door and tore out into the parking lot. Daughter 2, fearing she'd been left as a living sacrifice to the bird-like fly began wailing. The car in front of us grabbed their 20-piece McChunklet and left the drive through lane. The monster fly flew right out of the passenger window, causing hysterics in Daughter 1 as she climbed back into the van, slamming the door so hard it shook the rest of us all the time screaming, "IF YOU LOVE US, PUT UP THE WINDOWS, MOMMA!" And, in the matter of that 30-seconds, not only did we go from beyond hysterical and back, our fries also got cold. Or maybe they started off cold in the sack - we'll never really know because we were all one car back holding up the entire line at McGaggles!
You'd think that's where this story would end, right? Well, I say, that's what you get for thinking!
We drove through town, chowing on our fries and made our way back to the highway heading for home.
"I heard the bug again," Daughter 1 said with just a slight quake in her voice.
"DO NOT TEASE ABOUT THAT OR I'LL PUNCH YOU!" Daughter 2 offered to her sister in what can be described as loving in no way, shape or form.
"No teasing," she solemly swore, "I heard it."
And we all got quiet.
No. We all got silent.
We turned the radio off. We held our fries midway to our mouths.
Then we heard a little rustling.
The Daughters screamed! I shushed them so I could get a better listen.
"It's not quite the same sound," I said. "I don't think it's the rabid bug of the McGaggles drive-through line."
And we all got quiet again.
Then silent.
We hadn't even picked up our fries in the event we needed our hands for bug to fist combat.
And we heard rustling just a little bit again.
The screaming began and the shushing followed and then Daughter 1 said that one thing that can bring shivers to my spine, "Momma? Do you think it could be a snake?"
The screaming began again. This time, I joined in. I yanked the van over to the side of the road, ordered The Daughters to get out and stand on the grass. Screaming, we all vacated the van and waited for the snake or the bug or the noxious noisemaker to reveal itself.
I didn't really have a plan other than to call The Dad and have him drive down, clear out the van and then drive it home as The Daughters and I would be driving his truck home and not the Wild-Kindgom Minivan. I looked in my hand and realized that, as I had bailed, I grabbed my sack of fries and not my phone - priorities, people!
 |
| Evil - pure evil! |
Then we saw the movement and screamed again!
It was white!! More screams! But these screams morphed into wordless, question-sounds and our focus became trained on ...
... a Hellmart sack. The wind blew again and the sack rustled again.
We laughed our nervous little laughs and grabbed the sack as we took our places back in the van to finish our journey home.
Daughter 1 will take credit for saving the day, though. She rolled up the sack and sat on it until we got home.
