When I a freshman in high school, I had a crush on a guy named "John"... but he sat next to me in my freshman English class (maybe others), and I couldn't very well doodle "John" all over my notebooks, so I wrote "Jon" instead. I was quick on my feet for a 14-year-old, that's for sure.
One day in my English class, I was caught doodling how much I loved "Jon". My English teacher rarely left her stool behind her podium, but for some reason on this day, she was walking the aisles. She stopped just behind my desk, apparently watching me doodle, Jon, all over my purple three-subject spiral notebook. Obviously, I was not doing my vocabulary lesson for Great Expectations.
(Truth? I didn't read it. In college, however, being an English major, I was required to read it and didn't read it. Several years ago, I had to teach the dreaded novel. I read it -- then I fell asleep and Cliff's Notes'ed it. Dickens was a wordy son-uv-a...) Wait. What was I saying? Oh yeah... my life-long crush on John Jon.
My peeping-tom of a teacher asked me, "Would you care to share with us who this 'Jon' is?" Yes, she did. I was horrified. Even if I hadn't been a freshmen and already prone to feeling horrified at every turn of the tide, I'd have still be horrified.
Obviously, since "John" was right next to me, she had to figure it was him and why else would she ask me this unless she wanted to embarrass me? I felt my heart beating in my temple and I felt my palms melt into sweat. I couldn't breath at a normal rate if I were being paid to. I had to think fast.
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| He's walking toward me... He's saying something about laying me down in a bed of roses. |
Always quick on my feet, I answered, "Jon Bon Jovi." He was the lead singer of this new rad band called Bon Jovi, and they had just released "Runaway." I had recorded it from my boom box onto a cassette, and I hadn't even gotten the DJ's voice on my tape. That was the Napster of the 80s.
"It's Jon Bon Jovi," I stammered. "I, umm... have a crush on him." My face turned as red as 99 red balloons.
My English teacher snorted and said, "Yeah, well, come and see me in 30 years and tell me how good looking you think he is then."
