Picture by numbers

My favorite fall tradition is taking pictures for our annual "Aren't our kids more beautiful that your kids" Christmas card.

Let me break down this tradition for you:


2004 - I got my first digital camera. I took 214 photographs of my uber-cute toddler and over-the-top precious baby. I got one - ONE - where they are both looking clean, neat, at the camera and there's not one single blur.

2005 - I took my precious darlings to a local park to feed the ducks. I took 398 photographs. None - ZERO - had their faces. I'm not talking about faces-in-focus. I'm talking about faces anywhere in the frame.

2006 - I made my sister go with us to a local lake for family pictures. She took 140 pictures then left us stranded at the lake. (Not really, but the thought first entered her mind after the first three poses.) We had two - TWO -  pictures where The Dad didn't look like someone had poured jalapeno juice down his pants.

2007 - I put up my Christmas tree two months before Christmas so I could get a picture of The Daughters sitting under the lighted tree. It took 283 shots. I had to set the tree back up 12 times. I got one - ONE - picture where they are both looking at the camera, and they are both crying.

2008 - I threw caution to the wind and decided to dress The Daughters in black velvet dresses and light candles for a sweet Christmas pose. I took only 12 shots. They were all of The Daughters blowing the candles out. I donated two - TWO - wax-laden, black velvet dresses to Goodwill.

2009 - My sister had me take pictures of my almost-1 year old niece. We let her play with Christmas ornaments and Santa hats. We let her play with Christmas stockings and vintage copies of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. We took 832 pictures. My sister took one - ONE - the next day and used that one.

2010 - I had the brilliant idea to take The Daughters to the golf course with their Santa hats and their putters and get some shots on the green. I took 287 pictures. Daughter 1 asked me 421 times if it was legal. Daughter 2 picked up 11 balls that weren't hers, and The Dad putted around for 41 minutes completely ignoring us.

2011 - Thinking I'd get better cooperation from The Daughters if the tables were turned, I let them take pics of The Dad and me. They took 14 pictures and grew bored with the process.

2012 - Last weekend, I bribed The Daughters with frozen yogurt if they would just be cooperative. We did hair. We picked out clean clothes. We walked to the front door. We noticed the rain. We noticed 3.85 inches of rain.  Maybe this year will be the year of the In-Bed Christmas card...