As a kid, I remember a couple of times getting paddle boats with my family and having the best time out on the lake, just casually peddling and leisurely enjoying each other's company. I thought it was so much fun when my dad would peddle full speed onto the shore, secure the boat and then disappear for an hour or two. Good times, I tell ya! Good times!
So, imagine my absolute delight when at our recent family summer get-together, I saw that the resort had, among other things, paddle boats! When the kids and cousins and cousins' kids and I were at the lake, most everyone ran off to play on the lake-o-lene or go down the 72-foot-tall slide and I was left on the shore looking with great nostalgia in my heart at the edge of the lake where the paddle boats rested. Then, my cousin's kiddo, Breezy, told her daddy that she really wanted to go on the paddle boats. And her daddy told her they would do the boats later - instead, she should
come out to the toys and have fun with everyone else. Quick to jump in and undermine others' parenting authority, I screamed, "I'LL TAKE YOU, BREEZY! LET'S GO!"
So, Breezy and I hopped on a paddle boat and, true to form, Daughter 2 and her sidekick Cousin decided to jump on the paddle boat o' fun. We were off! Off on the adventure of a lifetime!! I was about to show these kids the magic and majesty that was paddle boating.
I peddled about 90 rotations before I was completely out of breath. I told the little passengers to help me peddle! That's what made this fun! Peddling together. It was at this point that it hit me: Paddle boating with a 4 year old, a 6 year old and a 7 year old is never a good idea. For starters, they won't peddle. For another thing, they won't peddle at all!
Daughter 2 and her sidekick Cousin decided that paddle boating wasn't as glamourous as they thought and when I got close to the play area, they plopped their little butts right out of the boat and ditched me! It was just Breezy and I and a paddle boat that now looked like it was popping a wheelie since what little weight I did have at the front of the boat was now jumping on the trampoline!
I turned to Breezy and said, "Isn't this fabulous?"
And she grinned at me and said, "Could you drive me over to the big slide?"
Wha--?? I had willingly sacrificed my sitting in the shallow waters and sunning time to take her out and about to show her to the glory of a paddle boat! Now she was ditching me!! What was wrong with kids these days?? Without even getting 50 yards away from our docking point, I dropped Breezy off with her daddy (who did take her out to the toys), and I paddled back to the shore alone.
I tried to paddle right up one the shore just like my dad used to, but I was stopped way out when the back of the paddle boat dragged bottom (and the front was about three-feet out of the water). I pulled the boat in the rest of the way and then related to my own daddy in a way I had never related before: I disappeared for a couple of hours.
After a red, plastic Solo cup full of sangria, I found a little chase lounger and dozed off for a couple of hours. You'd have thought that I would have awaken wiser to the guise of the paddle boat. But, those of you who really know me, you know that I don't learn my lessons easily...
To Be Continued
