After the ill-fated maiden voyage of my paddleboat adventure the day before, I found myself back at the lake staring longingly at the paddle boats. Maybe I had more sangria than I care to admit. On this particular day, my sister was at the lake with her baby girl and
even my momma (who can't swim) came down to the lake (but she needed lots of assistance because she didn't think her cane looked cool with her skirted uni-suit).
It took no time at all for my sister to say she really wanted to get on the paddle boat. She remembered, with great fondness, the fun we had when we took the paddle boat out as a family. And in no time at all, I completely forgot about the great paddle boat mutany of the day before.
My sister had her baby in her arms; I had our momma in hand as we stumbled toward the boats. Daughter 2 then discovered us heading out to sea and decided she'd give the paddle boats another shot. She splashed up around my momma (who doesn't swim) proclaiming that she was going to "ride" with us. Immediately, I reminded her that it was a PADDLE boat and she'd have to PADDLE. She then informed me that yesterday, she rode all the way from the shore to the toys and didn't PADDLE one bit! And then she hopped on the boat, shook her fist in the air, propped her feet up on the middle console and hollered, "Let's roll!"
My momma (who can't swim) then proceeded to sit sideways on the front seat of the paddle boat, then tried to lift one foot onto the paddle boat, then tried the sideways entrance again, then tried to attack the boat by going headfirst onto the front seats. We eventually got her secured on the boat and assured her that the boat wouldn't sink and then assured her that seatbelts would only hinder the rescue efforts if the paddle boat did freakishly sink.
Next, my sister, holding onto my niece who was wearing no less than three floatation devices hopped on the back of the boat. I gave them a swift push and for a very brief second, I thought about just letting them go out on their own. But I knew that soon enough, Daughter 2 would bail (when we got her close to the inflatable, floating obstacle course) and my Momma (who can't swim) would freak at the sight of one of her grandbabies swimming in water deeper than 6 inches and my sister would somehow manage to blame me for her being stuck in the middle of the lake with our panic-y momma. My good concious told me to go ahead and hop on with them.
We made it half way across the lake before Daughter 2 was "bored out of her gourd" according to her and "exited the water craft while we were still in transit" according to my sister, the rule-keeper.
"We'll have to all paddle harder," my sister complained.
"Daughter 2 wasn't paddling," I told her.
Then my Momma (who can't swim) chimed in, "I'm not paddling either. I'm afraid it will upset the boat."
Halfway across the lake, it boiled down to my sister (who was still clutching her baby) and me to paddle in the boat. Halfway across the lake (plus 10 yards), I decided that my sister is younger and a rule-keeper ("Everyone keep paddling!"), so if I were to stop paddling, what would she really do about it??
As we aproached the shore, I looked over at my sister, sweat pouring from her frizzied hair line. She glanced at me and breathlessly said, "This is {pant, pant} not nearly {pant, pant} as fun {pant, pant} as it was {pant, pant} when we {pant, pant} were little!"
I twinkled my toes as they dangled in the water off the side of the boat and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about..."
After we got the boat on shore and my momma (who can't swim) secured in a beach chair, I didn't see my sister for a couple of hours!
