When I was much, much younger, my momma took me to an outdoor concert where I got to meet Hank Thompson. (Go ahead, click the link. I barely know who he is, and I was there.) Years later, we turned around on a turnpike (No, I won't tell you which turnpike because it's illegal, and we did it) to follow Neal McCoy's tour bus. Really, my mom is not a country music junkie. I know she's not a country music junkie because one night, we waited in a dark alley outside of the Tulsa Performing Arts Center to meet Yanni, who is not a country music singer nor is he tall.
After staring down the muggers who were sure to ravage my body the minute I let down my guard on the dark and abandoned Tulsa street, I vowed right then and there I would NOT be a stalker. My momma was sad that her stalking dream would die with me. Except...
I discovered Lela Davidson, who is not a country music artist nor is she a middle aged synthesizer player who lived with Linda Evans, or Crystal as she was known from her Dynasty days.
Lela was a witty and smart writer and said things that I was afraid my own momma was slap my hands for typing. She had just penned Blacklisted from the PTA. The title alone was enough to make me giggle-snort! I began stalking Lela like a volunteer chairman of the PTA stalks the eager-beaver, innocent kindergarten mommas.
The first stalking was innocent enough. We took Daughter 1 to see Rick Riordan at the Rogers, Arkansas Library. I guess you could say I enabled Daughter 1 to be a stalker on that day as well. It turns out that Lela was a member of the library board and she was going to be there. She tweeted me the night before the big event, reminding me to have The Daughters wear costumes. She liked me! She tweeted me! This was so cool... and not at all stalkerish. I ran right out to Hellmart at midnight to grab up supplies for Greek gods and monsters costumes. The Daughters, alas, did not win the costume contest. Apparently, Lela didn't like me that much.
After Rick Riodon's talk, I stalked her down at the back of the conference room and mumbled that I really liked Blacklisted from the PTA, but I didn't have a copy of it for her to sign. I'm such an amateur stalker. I am, however, a persistent stalker.
A few months later, Ann Imig announced that her Listen To Your Mother Show was going to be produced in Northwest Arkansas and the producers would be Stephanie McCratic and the object of my stalking, Lela Davidson! As you know, I was selected for the show and had a blast. At our show read-through, I may or may not have had the courage to bring my copy of Blacklisted from the PTA for Lela to sign. I cop to nothing until the restraining order is lifted.
A few months after that, Lela and I met up at the Oklahoma Writing Federation, Inc. conference. She was dolling out social media advice and I was serving as an interpreter for the geriatric set. "No. She's not talking about Socialist Media. She's talking about Social Media." Also, she was dolling out great advice about friending eggs on Twitter, and I was ordering free drinks during happy hour.
I tell you all that so that you will fully understand exactly how fabulously excited I was when Lela asked me if I wanted to help host a virtual first birthday party for Blacklisted from the PTA. I not only told her yes, I told her HELLZ yeah, baby! I also told her, and I meant it, that her asking me to be a part of this party made me feel like I was BIG TIME. Big Time, y'all!
I hope that one day, I am stalker-worthy as well. Unless you're a Glenn Close kind of stalker, then, ummm... maybe not so much.
Happy birthday, Blacklisted from the PTA and congrats to my number 1 stalkee, Lela Davidson!
If you don't win, you can get your own copies here:
