Crowne Plaza Hotels in Europe (among other locations that are not close by) have instituted Snore Monitors. During quiet hours at the hotel (quiet hours?), these Monitors walk the halls and listen for loud noises, including snoring. If they hear snoring as they stand outside your room, they knock, wake you up and suggest that you move rooms to a different area of the hotel where quiet is not expected and you won’t be disturbing anyone else.
As part of their efforts to provide a good night’s sleep to all guests, they have established areas as quiet zones and these areas get Snore Monitors. The other areas of the hotel get to settle any noise issues themselves by knocking loudly on the offending neighbor’s wall and yelling, “Shut it up!” That could happen in a European Crowne Plaza, right?
I have a few questions about this: 1. Does the WHOLE party in the hotel room have to move with the snorer, if your room is found to be producing excess nasal-like noise and 2. Do they rent Snore Monitors for your home?
It’s not that the wonderful man I sleep with snores. He’s told me that much. At 3:30 in the morning. “Honey,” I said as I gently shook him and roused him from what can only be described as a sound-louder-than-a-Motley-Crue-concert sleep, “You’re snoring.” And he snorted and said, “No. I don’t snore.” So, there you have it. Straight from the snorer’s mouth.
The last time The Family and I were in a hotel, I woke up at four AM to The Dad laying flat on his back snoring, Daughter 2 talking in her sleep and Daughter 1 asking to turn on the TV because she just couldn’t sleep. If only Motel 6 had Snore Monitors! I like to imagine that they’d come and take the rest of my family to a part of the motel where others are being loud as well (the drunken college party section?) and leave me in the room alone to sleep in the quiet section.
I wonder who gets hired for as Snore Monitors? I imagine some out-of-work club bouncer whose tattooed neck is as big as my waist would probably be a great snore monitor, but I’m sure that opening your hotel room in the middle of the night and finding that guy would not make it easy for you to go back to sleep. Conversely, if this is a job for former school hall monitors, I don’t think they’d be very effective. First, they’d stand tapping at your door for 30 minutes trying to rouse you and then when asked to change rooms, who wouldn’t slam the door in Steve Urkel’s face saying, “Yeah right, dweeb.”
Since we don’t stay at the Crowne Plaza with The Daughters too often or ever, it’s not really something I should worry about. I’ll just continue packing my ear plugs. They drown out the snoring, the talking, the TV and the neighbor’s constant beating on the walls yelling, "Keep it down in there!"
