A text convo between me and my high school best friend, Sushie, who happens to be a very learned outdoors woman who lives in Montana but is not (to my knowledge) a member of any known or unknown militia:
Me: In your infinate wisdom of all things explorer-ish, do you happen to know if there are any explorers who used dogs in their explorations? It's for Daughter 1.
Sushie: Who?
Me: You? Do you know any explorers? For Daughter 1.
Sushie: No, I mean who is this?
Me: Alex Trebeck.
Sushie: Really?
Me: Yes. Alex Trebeck texts random people to see if they answer in question form.
Sushie: Really?
Me: No. Have you been drinking?
Sushie: OMG. NO!
Me: Have you quit drinking?
Sushie: Who is this really?
Me: Heather.
Sushie: Do you go to Lesher?
Me: What?
Sushie: I said do you go to Lesher?
Me: What does that mean?
Sushie: It means where do you go?
Me: Go where?
Sushie: To school.
Me: Ummmm... I am actually a teacher. Sorry to bother you.
NOT Sushie: Then answer your own question, dumbass!
(long pause as I debate whether or not to lower myself and text back to watch his/her mouth)
NOT Sushie: Do you teach algebra?
Me: No.
NOT Sushie: Damn.
