Where Are You?

This summer, The Dad bought a natural gas truck.  Since he drives an hour to from work everyday, our fuel budget for The Dad has gone from well over $300 a month to $80 a month!  (Can I get an AMEN?!!?)  Plus, natural gas burns cleaner and is great for the environment.  (Can I get a GROOVY, MAN!!??!)


But, this new pick-up truck left us with three vehicles.  We only have two drivers.  If we keep an extra vehicle just sitting around, it will only be a matter of time before The Daughters get crazy ideas in their heads and we get a phone call at three AM telling us those crazy daughters of ours are trying to break into McGaggles!  So, with that very real fear in our minds, we decided to try and sell The Dad's SUV.

Anyone wanna buy a RAV?

Well, five months later, we still own three vehicles and this do-it-yourself business is for the birds!  The birds who have a lot of time on their hands and no kids to shuttle and no school to teach - those birds.

Luckily, The Dad has a buddy who has a car lot and he said we could put the SUV on his lot and he'd try to sell it for us.  Last week, The Dad and I had a few spare moments and he said he was going to take  the SUV "to the lot".  He asked if I would pick him up in a bit.  I said he could walk.  We laughed and he left.

About 10 minutes later I got a call:

The Dad:  Hey! 

Me:  Hey!

The Dad:  I thought you were kidding.

Me:  About what?

The Dad:  About me walking and you not picking me up!

Me:  Oh.... yeah!

So, I slipped my shoes on, grabbed the keys and set out to get The Dad.  I was about one mile north on the highway that runs right through our town, when I realized I had no clue which car lot The Dad's buddy owned.  But how many used car lots could there be?

I now know the answer to that.  There are no less than 20 dozen used car lots up and down the 10 mile stretch of highway.  I know that because I drove through every single one of them looking for The Dad. Eventually, I would have to confess that I didn't know where he was.  I reached into my purse to get my phone and discovered that I didn't have my phone.  So, I pulled over and checked between the seats and under the seats and couldn't find my phone anywhere.

Home I headed to grab Daughter 1's phone.  When I walked into the house, I discovered my phone right where I left it - if you can imagine that! I had four missed calls.  All from the number one man in my life.

Voice Mail 1:  Hey!  Just wondering where you are!

Voice Mail 2:  Hey!  Call me back, please.  

Voice Mail 3:  (in a louder voice, as if he could talk RIGHT THROUGH that phone)  HEY!  WHERE ARE YOU?

Voice Mail 4:  I think this is one of your jokes.  But it's not funny.  I'm walking.  Happy?  Ha. Ha. Ha.

Oh. My Goodness.  I felt really, really bad that I was in this situation.  No, that HE was in this situation.  Oh, what the heck - that we were both in this situation.  Quickly, I grabbed my phone and headed back out the door.  

Briiiinnnngggg!  Brriiinnngggg!

Me:  Hey, Honey!  Sorry, I didn't know where I was going and I'm on my way right now.

The Dad:  Alrighty then.  Please hurry.  I feel like a little abandoned 13 year old at the movie theater on a Saturday night!

Me:  I know and I'm so sorry.  I'm on my way.

I hung up and began driving.  I got back out to the highway and had just turned north when the phone rang again.

Me:  Hey!

The Dad:  Do you know where you're going?

~sigh~  I still did not know where I was going.

Eventually, I did find The Dad and eventually I did pick him up, poor baby.  But please don't let your sympathy for the poor guy get the best of you:

The Dad:  You used to be a lot more, ummmm, together than this.

Me:  Yes.  And you used to get a lot more sex than you do now.  What's your point???

We still haven't sold the RAV...