Experts the world over are becoming more and more concerned with the slow but sure death of the traditional date. In a day and age when "boy meets girl" is replaced with "boy sexts girl" we are sure to see a strange new day revealed in our relationships.
Traditional dating is quickly becoming a thing of the past: Take The Dad and me, for instance. We met in grad school (so far, so good). Two years later, we met in a different grad school class (we're slow learners). A year after that, he asked me out. I was busy, so he asked again. I was out of town, so he camped out on my doorstep until I returned and made me to go the movies with him. Nine months after we had our first date, we eloped. No, I wasn't pregnant, thank you very much. We had a pretty traditonal dating life. For that time.
What research tells us about the change in traditional dating is this: With the advancement of technology, and in this day and age of instant gratification, relationships move a lot faster, but committment is moving a lot slower. It's thought that most couples will text for a significant period of time (this will include sexting) before having their first face-to-face dates. According to a USA Today poll, more than 55% of all first date couples will actually have sex. On their first date! In fact, some researchers suggest that couples will know more sexual details about their first dates than they will know intimate details.
Yes, there is a difference between sex and intimacy.
On our first date, The Dad and I stayed up and talked until three in the morning. And that's what's missing in today's relationship equation - the simple things.
I'll admit that I did try to sext The Dad once a few years ago and auto correct ended up having him bring me the ingredients for a fruit salad. Don't ask.
Many couples are ready for a relationship, but not ready to create it. They mistakingly believe that, like the latest LMFAO single, relationships can be downloaded and ready to go in 60 seconds.
Ironically, it's their desperation for a relationship that will ultimately end up sinking their relationship. Couples need to demand real life face time instead of Facebook time. They need to allow themselves time to sit in a park and listen to the birds sing instead of tweeting about the size of their pizzas (darn autocorrect!). They need to withhold secrets of themselves from their lovers and let the journey of discovery lead them into a relationship.
I'm just glad that I met The Dad in a much simpler time. A time when I could call up my BFF and we'd listen to his message on my machine over and over and over again and wonder exactly what he meant when he said, "I'd like to see you tonight."
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!
