Minivan Momma: Five Things I Learned from Listen To Your Mother

1. When a good friend says, "I'll totally do your roots for you," then I should totally go get my roots did. A friend will tell you your roots look fine, but a good friend will color you up.

2. I can hold my composure throughout stories of addiction and loss and grief and infertility because I see the beauty in every story. But if I'm given a gift card for a pedicure? I'm a blubbering mess.

3. If I am surrounded by smart, beautiful, strong women, we are a force to be reckoned with. And we will sell out a show. Three times. Boom. I also learned that I will only have cleavage like Misti if Brian wins the lottery. It's okay. I own that truth.

4. When I hear a dull humming sound, it is probably not a stroke, but it will take a few moments and a clenched jaw from Misti for me to realize that. And when I do realize it's not a stroke, I can run in pole-dancing wedges ... down back alleys ... into sold-out, SRO theaters and glare like a mad momma at the sound man. Then run in pole-dancing wedges again.