That's why, Ben

"You wanna use this?" Ben, the young and--let's hope--chaste cashier at the Big Box Sporting Goods store said to Daughter 2 as she struggled to open her softball-shaped lip gloss. Then he handed her a box cutter.

A Box Cutter.

We'd spent the evening running all over Tulsa trying to find everything she needed for her softball team (Go, Oklahoma Bedlam!) and at what I thought would be our last stop at the south-edge of town, we discovered Ball Balms. Ball Balms (they may have had some other catchy name) were sports-ball-shaped lip balm holders. At the south store, they had tennis balls, baseballs, soccer balls and golf balls.

Daughter 1, the golfer, was thrilled to snag up one of the last golf balls. Daughter 2, the softballer, was heavy-hearted because a baseball is not the same as a golf ball and, while the tennis ball Ball Balm was the right color, it had no tell-tale red-stitching. So, I said I'd drive completely out of our way home and go to the other Big Box Sporting Goods store to look for softball Ball Balm. Yes, I am a good mom. Not indulgent at all.

We pulled into their parking lot with seven minutes to spare before they closed the doors on my baby girl's dream of having softball-shaped lip balm for her bat bag.

Quicker than you can say $12 worth of gas, we found a softball-shaped lip balm--new in package. And we raced to the front of the check out and paid.

As I was putting the change in my purse, Daughter 2 was struggling to get her softball-shaped lip gloss out of the protective plastic wrap, and that's where Ben stepped in.

I'm sure Ben was just working hard so he could score some beer after his soccer tournament next weekend. I'm sure he enjoyed the discount on his endless items dotted with the Under Armor logo so he could look cool and athletic at school. I'm also sure that Ben was not using his oft-hit-with-a-ball head when he handed Daughter 2 a box cutter.

"Will this help?" he said, his voice full of innocence.

"Ummm ... " I offered, not really knowing how to say Hell no a box cutter will not help a nine-year-old get plastic off a ball!

But before I could say anything, Daughter 2 pushed the blade all the way up and said, "Dang! I cut some serious balls with this!"

Ben quickly retrieved the box cutter from Daughter 2. I like to think he's learned his lesson: Box cutters will cut some serious balls.

2013, You've Sure Been Good

I love the New Year ... a time for new beginnings. That's always a welcome event, unless you're winning and the game isn't over and someone calls "Do Overs" then that kinda ticks me off. Nonetheless, I love the New Year.

In anticipation of this fresh start, let's look back over the year.

Source

In January, D2 celebrated her ninth birthday, and I harassed my cousins.

In February, I taught my kid the definition of rectal, and I took pole dancing classes.

March brought us strep throat (hallelujah!), and I showed off my dope rappin' skillz, yo.

April brought us (you, especially, but it made me happy, too) MY BOOK! And, I called out another author ... apparently you people like sap.

What a great month May was--I learned a lot and fell in love with my man all over again.

In June, we went camping, and I let it all hang out.

My husband pretended to be a Pretty Woman expert in July, and I entertained people in the Hellmart Parking Lot.

August found me in my gyno's office with a list of suggestions, and I reminisced about D1's first note from school.

In September, I met George Straight and D2 met a bull, and I got pissed about the VMAs.

October brought a wake-up call for us as a family and we counted down to Thanksgiving, and D1 and I chatted about spooky things.

In November, I had an opportunity to be kind and I took it, but it cost me, and Getting Lucky was published--you've read it, right?

And that brings us to December, where I felt a connection with Noah, and I had to help Brian take off his trunks.

My Favorite Things: Christmas Cards

I take Christmas cards very seriously. I have a battle plan for sending the greetings: I take the photos in October. I design and print the card in November and, on our way home from Thanksgiving at my in-laws' home on Thursday night, I drop them in the mailbox and my Christmas Card recipients receive my card first. For fifteen years straight, I have been the First Christmas Card of the season. That and a dollar will get you a small cheeseburger at McGaggles.

I don't know what happened this year. In September, I told Brian that I needed to start planning for the cards, then I blinked, and it was the first day of December.

We left church, ate lunch (because: priorities) and then we came home where I bribed The Daughters to put on red tops, Santa hats and give me something to work with. We tried some inside shots with our Christmas tree and ... a hula hoop. (Don't ask because I have no idea why.)

We took some outside against our brick wall, trying to be all urban and chic at the same time.

Then, I came in and decided on a design--a postcard. See? That will save me time since I won't have to stuff the envelopes.

What has this year's Christmas experience taught me?

• First, the best laid plans of mice and mommas often go astray. (That's Shakespeare Robert Burns, y'all. My Brit lit professor would be so proud.) 
• Second, it's taught me that it's okay to get caught up in the moment. So I didn't have my cards done when I wanted them done; I was busy living life and not cleaning my house. That's still a winning combination. 
• And third, honesty is the best policy--especially when it comes to Christmas cards. This is my family. This is why I blog. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

It may be Easter before y'all get your holiday cards, but you will get them.

Men Pray For Me

My sister and sister-in-law married a couple of great guys. They are wonderful husbands, great daddies, handymen, and faithful and spiritual people. I know for a fact that they pray for me and Brian.

There really is no better gift that you can give to another person than to hold them close in your heart, your mind and your soul, and I can feel them holding Brian and me close in to their soul through prayer.

I feel their prayers most when I work around the house ... when I replace the air filter in our heat and air system, I can feel my brother-in-law, Jared, pray for Brian and for me.

When I text my brother-in-law, David, about removing sliding shelves in my kitchen, I can feel his prayers for us.

Cool idea, huh?

But, last week, when I installed a curtain rod on my wall--not over any window, over the love seat in our bedroom--I was privileged enough to actually hear their prayers. They weren't in the bedroom with me. I didn't have one or the other on the phone with me, yet I heard them in much the same way one hears a great idea, a nudging from one's conscience, in much the same way Pinocchio heard Jiminiy Cricket.

I actually had the white nail from another project--
I used it to make a hole for the screws.
Who needs a drill?

As I stood in the middle of my room admiring my handy work and giving thanks for the extra parts the manufacturer included in my curtain rod kit, I heard their prayers.

Dear God, Please grant Brian good health and a long life. And if anything should happen to him, take from Heather some of her crazy because we do not want to have to deal with that on our own.

Great guys, huh?

#ThankfulThursdays: If it needs to be done

Photo Credit

Last week, we met another family from our church at our local homeless shelter to help serve the evening meal. The church provided the food. We just needed to serve it.

Daughter 2 had served this summer at the same shelter. She was nervous about going back because she hated to see the children there who had no place else to be. Daughter 1, who is always so cool and pretty much knows everything there is to know, snorted and asked her, "Would you rather them be at the shelter or sleeping in a car?" She had a point, but she also had an attitude that made me wonder if #ThankfulThursdays had been effective at all.

We arrived, and we served. Daughter 1 floated between serving  cupcakes and visiting with the residents. Daughter 2 and her little friend from church (a member of the other family) visited with the residents and had a grand ol' time.

We had to serve and run because D2 and Brian had a meeting at her school, and D1 and I had a meeting at our school.

As we drove away from the shelter, I asked D1 what her thoughts were about serving at the shelter.

"It was good," she said.

"Do you have any thoughts about it?" I asked, obviously fishing for blog fodder as well as evidence that #ThankfulThursdays had not been in vain.

"What kind of thoughts?" she asked me back.

"Do you think you'd want to serve dinner again?"

"If it needs to be done, I think we should totally do it again."

And ... there was my proof.

If it needs to be done ...

Throughout the past six weeks or so as we've done our #ThankfulThursdays, I've hoped that The Daughters will grow in two ways:  That they are more grateful for the life that they have, and that they are aware of the needs of others.

Sunday morning, I was visiting with my friend Lee. Our girls are close in age and have played softball together for several seasons. She said she loved the Get Well Soon cards that we did because it was so simple and so easy.

That's yet another lesson I want my girls to know: Being grateful, serving others--it doesn't need to be a big production. We don't need to be rich to do it. We don't need to make it a huge ordeal. We just need to do what we can.

"If it needs to be done ... " Good words to end our #ThankfulThursdays.