Wordless Wednesday: "If you find my centipede ... "...

"... put it back in here."

Tail Kicking #5262

Since she was old enough to speak, Daughter 1 has done things that could, conceivably, get me into trouble.  Once time she pointed to a big ol' biker dude and said, loudly, "I'll bet that guy stinks because he looks dirty." She was two at the time. He would not have hurt a child, but I believe in my very scared heart that he would have hurt her mother.

What's A Cannoli Worth To You?

Our weekend started off with a trip to our favorite pediatrician, who diagnosed Daughter 2 with strep throat. This put a kink in our Saturday plans, which included basketball games, ice skating, and a trip to a bakery down south that makes cannolis because Daughter 1 has discovered The Cake Boss and she's become obsessed with cannolis. (Anything for my babies, yo.)

"Falling" back: EAT FRESH

As part of the Arkansas Women Bloggers Blogtober Fest, I'm "falling" back and sharing one of my most talked about posts. It's the post that most people talk to me about (next to the "Sexy Back" aka the Thong story). So, come with me back to a time where I was mortified and touched my boobs in front of a sandwich artist. 

Click here to read "Eat Fresh."

P.S. Chickens have boobs. Roosters have chests.

The Nicest People

Last week, I devoted a week of my summer to honing the craft that pays the bills: I attended a teacher-workshop.  We were given an hour and a half for lunch.  I have to say that because when you account for bathroom time and hall duty, our school-year lunch time is approximately 13 minutes.  If we hit 20 minutes, we know we've forgotten something.

A momma's role

This past week, we took The Daughters to their very first theme park, complete with giant roller coasters and expensive food.  As we walked through Mt Olympus Theme Park in The Dells, they were wide-eyed with awe and thought they had died and gone to heaven.  It was actually Wisconsin, and I actually stole that line from Field of Dreams, which we visited on our way up.

Raising my kids right

The only problem with our beautiful backyard pool is the pesky pests.  One single wasp can clear The Daughters from the pool and into the house in under eight seconds.  I've timed them.  A horsefly will result in deafening shrieks as The Daughters bob up and down in the shallow end until the horsefly clears the roof and is just a spot on the horizon.  Dragonflies used to evoke manic splashing, but we've just discovered that they come in peace and mean us no harm.

Crisis Averted

I've had The Talk with Daughter 1 on more than one occasion.  She's come to me on several different occasions asking pertinent questions.  I always gave her direct and honest answers followed by a glass or four of sangria.  For me, not her. Overall, I felt confident that when the time came for Daughter 1 to cross the threshold from girl-child to woman, we were prepared.

Alfred would be proud

This past Thursday was a glorious night.  The Dad had open house at his school so he was coming home late.  The Daughters were already in bed with their double shot of cold medicine to ensure they'd be down and out.  (Hang up the phones!  Do NOT call protective services -- I'm just kidding!)

I, my friends, was enjoying a quiet evening alone.  This was an evening where I could use the good computer without an ounce of whining in my ears.  I had the remote in my hands and an icy mug of root beer.  Really.  It was root beer.  The windows were open and the front doors were both open and the breeze was blowing through just enough to make me think I almost needed a blanket.  Not quite, but almost!

It was a dark and stormy night...Or not

Last week, as I was standing in the kitchen, I heard the door open - I thought.  The door opening wasn't what caught my attention.  What caught my attention was the silence that followed. This summer, our front door has been very busy and hardly an opening of the door occurs that giggles and