My Favorite Things: Christmas Programs

One of my favorite things during this particular time of the year are the Christmas programs. Daughter 2 was in our church's program last Sunday as a singing Mary--she added the singing part. This week, she'll be a dancing Anna--they gave her permission to dance. I'm sure it's a mistake that won't be repeated in years to come. (Fingers crossed there's not any twerking.)

Daughter 1, though, because she's older, has the opportunity to perform with her school orchestra. This concert is the all-city concert, which means that both middle schools and both parts of the high school will actually perform. The end of the evening concludes with the senior high's full concert orchestra playing several Christmas familiar carols and the audience is invited to sing along.

Daughter 1 has been practicing her cello part over and over and over again. I love the cello. A cello solo or cello in a group--large or small--is a beautiful, mellow sounding instrument that will bring tears to your eyes and goosebumps to your flesh. But I'll tell you what: When the cello part is played in isolation? You will think a cow is in labor in your front room.

At the concert, Daughter 2 sat--I use the term loosely because she's a wiggler--between me and my own momma. She whisper-chatted a dozen or so times about who was wearing what, which bass player had a Santa hat on and why the others didn't and how could we all get out of that place if a violin randomly caught fire. It's always exhausting entertaining to sit next to her at these sorts of events. 

I did notice a pattern in her whispers and wiggles. As each song began, she'd lean over and asked, "Momma? Do I know this song?" 

And at each song, I'd hiss whisper back, "I don't know. Why don't you silently listen and see?"

Finally, when the senior high orchestra took the stage and were warmed up, they began their first number, "Winter Wonderland." Daughter 2 squirmed in her seat and faced me, "I know this! I KNOW THIS!" There was not a hint of a whisper in her voice. 

Then the first verse of "Winter Wonderland" began Daughter 2, in her best American-Idol Audition voice belted out, "Sleigh bells ring! Are ya listening?" She was so loud, I jumped.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Singing along," she whispered back before continuing in full vibrato, "In the lane, snow is glistening!"

"Hey!" I whispered as I threw my hand over her mouth, "This is a time for listening."

"It's a time," she said wiggling away from my hand, "For singing. It says so right there." Then she pointed to the program before continuing the song, "Gone away is the new bird!"

You know what? I just let her sing. 'Tis the season, y'all!

My Favorite Things: Sabine Brown

At some point last year, Brian come home and said, "Do you know of a blogger named Sabine of Suburbia?" I hadn't. So, I immediately took to Google and began blog-stalking Sabine Brown. Y'all? She's so funny and honest and refreshing! I immediately subscribed to her blog and then Facebook-stalked her. Eventually I friend requested her and have come to adore her. And her kids. And her humor. I find myself reading her, peeing my pants with laughter and then nodding my head as I take a deep breath saying, "Yes."  Enjoy her, my friends--she's one of My Favorite Things.

Real Deal Parenting Advice

I’m going to share some parenting advice.  Oh I know, you’ve read tons of parenting advice .  Cherish every moment, tell your children you love them everyday, don’t yell, yada yada.  Yeah, we all know that already.  I’m talking about the nuts and bolts of parenting.  The practical aspects.  The things my children would tell you because who better to tell you about parenting than the parented.  (Parented is a noun now, you know.)

So here are just some things my children taught me.

Chickadees are not a suitable substitute for Amy’s Organic Cheddar Bunnies.  “They’re both cheddar crackers.  What’s the difference?” you’re saying to yourself right now.  That’s where you went wrong and that’s why you need me to tell you these things.  They are completely different.  You see, one is a bunny and one is a chick.  One is full of cheesy crunchy goodness and one is a disgusting baby chicken.  Maybe your adult palate can’t detect that, but your kids can.

A single carrot stick can cause imminent death.  It’s true.  I had no idea that this was possible until my son told me.  I had asked him to finish his carrot sticks before he could have a piece of candy.  This resulted in a dramatic drop to the floor and crying. 

“I tried to chew it and I can’t and it keeps getting stuck in my throat and I had to spit it out!” he whined.

“How did you eat your last 2 carrot sticks?”

“Those carrot sticks were smaller!”

“Why can’t you just take smaller bites?”

Blank stare.  “But this carrot stick is too big and it’s choking me!”

See?  If it wasn’t for my son I never would have know how many times I had almost killed him with carrot sticks and that is why I am sharing this information with you.

If you have subscribed to the bath, brush teeth, bedtime story routine before going to bed, you’re doing it wrong.  You can’t just expect for your children to go to sleep.  No, they need a pre-bedtime routine.  This should consist of several trips from their bed to the living room to tell you about…whatever.   Their new fear, something they learned about trains, to muse about how the moon was formed and how far away it is.  The point is they need to do this for at least 2 hours before they can sleep.

These are only a few things I have picked up from the children, but once you start listening to them you realize just how bad your parenting really is.  So go forth and parent correctly.  And for God’s sake do not give them carrot sticks.