The Run Down, Week 1

Sunday, May 13 - It's Mother's Day and what a better day to start training for Hot Mamas Run in September.  I do not run.  Freddy, Jason and Michael Meyers could be chasing me with a machete, a hatchet and a chainsaw, respectively, and I wouldn't run.  But, my friend Mari said, "Hey!  Let's train for this and run this together." I was high on Italian dressing from Zios and said, "Sure!"  So, here I am on Mother's Day, running.  I went on a half-mile loop in my neighborhood and it took me, two daughters, and two dogs 12 minutes to complete the loop.  We ran every other driveway-to-driveway.  I was knocked clean on my butt by our big lab, J.J., and I yelled at both dogs and one daughter to stop chasing rabbits through the neighbors' yards. At the end of our loop, Daughter 1 said, "I'm proud of you, Momma.  It doesn't matter what you look like to me."  That's encouraging.

Guess when I got these shoes?
The summer after Daughter 2 was born.
She's 8.

I learned three things:  1. I shouldn't attempt serious training/running with two dogs and/or two daughters. 2.  I need new shoes and my B-cups need a sports bra. (Who knew?) and 3.  I can still run.

Monday, May 14  - Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a kidney stone.  Within that day, the pain went away.  Today, it came back with a vengence.  Then, the stone blocked my pee inside of me - after I had drunk about a gallon of water.  I spent the day in the emergency room.  The first half of my stay I begged for a cath.  Having to pee and not being able to pee is nothing short of multiple levels of miserable.  If I could have gotten my hands on a drinking straw, I'd have cathed my own damn self.  True Story.  I go see the urologist tomorrow, and he'll most likely be removing said kidney stone.  I'll probably give him Daughter 1 out of gratitude, and then maybe on Wednesday, I'll be back to training again. 

I'm off to google at-home cath videos on youtube.

Tuesday, May 15 - Best sleep of my life today as my new BFF Dr. P, an urologist, dug a kidney stone out of my tube that carries my urine out of my body.  He left, however, a stint in his place.  Now, I have to pee all the time, but I CAN!  I can PEE!  My stent comes out Friday, and I will return to training on Saturday. I will not be performing self-caths.

Wednesday, May 16 - Stents suck.  Lortabs, not so much.

Thursday, May 17 - I went to work today.  I got caught up on my grading and only got up off my butt once to dash to the bathroom.  It was not an easy dash, and I may have even whimpered.  Again, stents suck.

Friday, May 18 - Just when I think I have no humility left, the nurse comes along and pulls what little remains right from my woowoo.  I thought it was my intestines.  Apparently stents are L O N G and are removed by pulling a string, while one stands naked in front of a nurse you've just met.  No dinner.  No dancing.  No flowers... just a little (big) tug and the stent is out.  But, to keep me completely miserable, I now have a spastic reaction in my bladder and kidneys and urethra.  I've never wanted to be able to run so much in all my life.    WHA--??  Surely, that's not the lortab talking...