Holiday Playlist Link Up!!

Check me out over on Oklahoma Women Bloggers. I'm telling you all about my Holiday Playlist. I think you won't be surprised at all how crazy weird it is. Click HERE to read all about it. Also, create your own playlist and link it up at OkWB!

Mix Tape Shuffle: Party Playlist for Summer

My girl Mari and my new girl Marisa have challenged me to post my summer playlist. The minute they called it Mix Tape Shuffle, I became all nostalgic, so bare with me.

I feel like I have to explain that I'm in a very weird place right now. I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting in a strapless sundress on my couch without a bra and without a brush touching my hair for about twenty-four hours. I'm feeling very, very nostalgic.

For starters, the whole "mix tape" concept takes me to a place where cassettes were clear with colorful accents and made by Memorex.

It also takes me to a time when I would wait in my bedroom, my shaking finger poised over the record button on my boom box, waiting for the latest Richard Marx or GoGos song to come on the radio and praying that the DJ wouldn't jabber right up until the time the lyrics started.

It seemed that I spent my summers making mix tapes from the radio so I could lug my fifty-pound boom box outside and listen to it while I tried my best to catch that savage tan using only baby oil as a buffer between me and skin cancer.

So, my party playlist for summer is giving a distinct nod to my former self--that fourteen year old who wanted nothing more than to be tan, learn to drive, and marry Kirk Cameron. With a little bit of my current self, who longs for simpler days, mixed it.

1. "Endless Summer Nights" by Richard Marx. He had a wavy mullet and promised to remember how I loved him.

2. "Head Over Heels" by The GoGos. I bought this cassingle with my babysitting money. I blasted it as we left TG&Y and asked my mom why the whole world would be in the sink anyway.

3. "Peek A Boo" by Siouxsie and the Banshees. What the hell is this song about? I think it's literally about eyes. But who cares because it's cool. That was pretty much my philosophy for 1989.

4. "The Promise" by When In Rome. Great cruising song for the end of the night when you drove through McGaggles forty-two times hoping to catch a glimpse of him but he wasn't there.

5. "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna. I never took Spanish in high school; I took German. Thanks to Madonna, I could now claim to be tri-lingual.

6. "Ninety Nine Red Balloons" by Nena. Two years of German, and I still only understood  "neun und neunsig luftballoons." The rest is lost in translation--or lack thereof.

7. "The Hook" by Blues Traveler. I was out of college and feeling like an old maid. I just knew that I had some sort of hook that would bring any of my college mistakes back to me. Thank the powers that brought us Milli Vanilli, I did not have a hook.

8. And speaking of Milli Vanilli, "I'm Gonna Miss You."  No special reason except that I was pretty devastated when I found out they were frauds. I told me friends that trashed my cassettes, but the truth is I kept them and listened to them secretly until they broke.

9. "Personal Jesus" by DePeche Mode. I tried really hard to be dark and deep. This was a far as I got.

10. Because you cannot be dark and deep when you love Paula Abdul and car-jammed every single time "Straight Up" played. Still know every single word and can jam just as good as any other forty-year old woman.

11. "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns and Roses. I don't care if it was about a kid and I was only 16 when it came out and scared to death of catching AIDS from a toilet seat, this song rocked my world.

12. "I Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon. When I was 14, I decided that this song had special powers because every single time I heard it on the radio, he called or wrote me a note (a note, y'all!). I tried playing it repeatedly once right before a big dance and got nothing. Thanks for the disappointment, REO.

13. "The Chair" by George Straight. How clever is this song? I used to imagine some fine-looking cowboy coming up to me at the club telling me that I took his chair. If it had actually happened, I would have said, "Oh, sorry" and walked away because that's the way I roll in social situations.

14. "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael. I described the music video--which was way racy for the day--by telling a friend who hadn't seen the video that he wrote "mono-game-ee" on his lover's thigh. Then we debated for three hours about how to properly pronounce monogamy.

15. "Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc. I have no idea what a medina is, but this song? It makes me smile.

Finally, because I love him, my playlist would not be complete without my boyfriend, Jon:

16. "Living On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Because. Simply because. 

#OWFI14

Last weekend I was privileged to get to speak at the #OWFI14 conference, which was put together and run by my fabulous friend, The Resident Heretic, aka Denise; aka Christine; aka CD; aka Past President.

I had three presentations. Those are on slide share, and anyone can access them:

The Best Blog in the Blogosphere

Being Everywhere

Balance In Your Writing Life

If you are a writer or would like to be a writer or think you'd like to be a writer, I suggest you go to an OWFI conference. You'll meet cool people who are in the same stage in their writing career, and you'll find a mentor(s) who would love nothing more than to help you pursue your writing dreams.

Also, you can enter the writing contest and whether you win or not, you could get a really helpful (not to mention cool) critique back from the judge! I brought home awards in the categories of Feature Article (second place) and Picture Book (first place!). My picture book is actually sitting in the hands of my wonderful agent, Clelia Gore of Martin Literary. But, the most exciting new of it all was this: TMI Mom Getting Lucky was named 2014 Nonfiction book of the year!

My fabulous editor, Mari Farthing, spooned me!

I'd like to say that I took the day on Sunday to bask in the glory of the weekend. But, alas, there's no rest of the wicked. And on Sunday, my Boos, Julie, Misti and I put on a wicked groovy show. More about that later...

My Favorite Things: Mari Farthing

Today's favorite thing is my girl Mari Farthing. I knew Mari and read her blog long before I actually met her. Then when I met her I didn't know it was her. Well ... I knew it was her, it's not like she was in costume or whatever, but I didn't know she was Mari of Mari's Virtual Notebook, which is kind of silly because she's the only Mari I know. And, Mari is pronounced Mary, not Marie or Maurey. FYI. Anyway, we became instant friends, finding not just a small parcel of common ground, but a whole countryside of common ground. And then ... we became not just friends but working partners--she is the editor extraordinary of the TMI Mom books.  She's also my co-administrator for Oklahoma Women Bloggers, and we are oft found to be texting snark to each other at inappropriate times. See? It's so clear that she's one of my Favorite Things!

My Favorite Things

This is a guest post for Heather Davis, who happens to be one of my favorite people.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?” Meh. Not for me. To be perfectly honest, I always thought that song sounded kind of creepy. Same with “My Funny Valentine,” which does not sound funny at all unless your definition of funny includes creepy. But I digress (which is kind of a favorite thing that I like to do);

My favorite things are more on the lines of emotional things.

Keepsakes, like the coins my dad carried for years and years before he died, worn nearly smooth of identifying ridges.

People, like the friends and family I know I can count on, though we may not talk every day or see each other as often as we would like. The bond that holds us together and refuses to break is vital to my happiness.

Goodness in people. Small kindnesses that might be easily taken for granted but often make a big, rippling impact on the recipient—as simple as a smile or letting someone merge ahead of you in traffic or in line at the store. I love how though we have so many words in our language to define the negative, it’s the impact of positive actions that often has the widest reach.

Creativity. This isn’t so much a favorite thing as it is a necessary thing. If I’m not creating something, I’m not a happy camper. I write. Knit. Paint. Crochet (a recent obsession). Cook. Dream up random acts of craftiness. Make mix tapes CDsplaylists of my favorite songs. Sometimes take pictures.

I love it when Goodness and Creativity join together and have a baby that turns into problem solving.

I love being a mother to my kids, a job I never thought I would be quite suited to, but something that has become a great joy (and, let’s be honest here, pain). One of the best parts of parenting is watching my kids learn the lessons of the values and morals that I try to impart to them, how they take those lessons and use them in the world.

I’m starting to sound like one of those annoying ‘my life is sunshine and roses’ bloggers aren’t I? Trust me—this is not the case. I sit here at the kitchen table writing this in a stolen moment, as my kids are getting ready for school. I pushed a mountain of crap out of my way on the kitchen table, my coffee is cold, the kids are bickering because one of them is singing and the other is making lunch and they’re in each other’s way. I have not yet showered (but I have brushed my teeth—score!) and I have a to-do list as long as my arm, very little time to get it done and I’ll be driving the kids to school this morning in my slippers and a hat of some sort covering my crazy, slept-on hair. And what in the name of all that’s holy is that smell? Oh yeah, the garbage that should have gone out yesterday. Need to take care of that. Why is there a permission slip from yesterday under my yarn? No I haven’t signed it! Go brush your teeth. What do you mean you can’t find your gloves? Gah.

Of course, my favorites are not all emotional. “We are living in a material world and I am a material girl … or boy.” (can you name that movie?) I love pop culture—movies, TV, music. Yes, even stupid celebrity gossip and glossy magazines filled with ads for makeup and pictures of impossibly airbrushed stars in their sparkly event gowns that they borrowed for the event because they can’t even afford their “price upon request” suggested retail prices. The instant availability of online music that has provided me with music that I’d never been exposed to, growing up, and e-books available around the clock with just a click (and both of which provide me with ample late-night insomnia-driven impulse shopping opportunities). I love cute boots. Costume jewelry. I love the app on my smartphone with the GPS that tells me how far I’ve ran or the one that tells me how far it is to the restaurant.

I am thankful for my first-world problems because I’m thankful for living in a first-world country that is defined by freedom. Even in our potential dissent, even with the negative effects that often accompany the good, it’s our freedom that allows this.

Bottom line, I guess that’s got to be my favorite thing.

The Season of GivingAWAY: From the Henhouse

I know cool chicks. I can't think of one of my chick friends who doesn't ooze coolness from her very being on a daily basis. And because I know cool chicks, I get to do cool things. Today, the cool thing I'm doing is pimping my fellow sister chicks from Chick-Wit.com. Normally, I'd tell ya that pimpin' ain't easy, but with these chicks, pimpin's a breeze.

Where in the WWW???

This week, Dani, Mari & I talk about XTina's Photoshop. Beauty or bomb? Let's hear from you...

I publically plea to be Jen's matron of Honor.

And Mari kinda, sorta defends Barbie. Yep, you heard that right.

A Buzz-y Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a little girl (OK, it was me) who loved to write.  After reading every single Encyclopedia Brown book she could get her hands on, she attempted to write a mystery. The attempt was a miserable failure, even for a 10 year old. But she didn't stop writing.  As a joke in college, she wrote a fictional piece for her Advanced Comp II class in which she claimed to be psychic.  The professor thought her story was real and asked her to read his aura. Somehow, she kept a serious face, and she "read" it. She predicted  he would have a long life and would retire soon. He died two years later. She knew then that she had a gift for writing but her psychic powers were sorely lacking.

Where in the WWW?

Catch me on the WWWs:

I kick neighborhood lemonade stand butt on Funny Not Slutty this week.  Let them eat pie, I say!

This week on Chick Wit, Mari, Dani and I kick John Mayer to the curb - do you agree that's where his stinky self belongs?

Mari asks, in a straightforward, totally tubular kind of way, that the current generation find their own way, or at least leave her beloved era alone.

Dani Stone takes suggestions on a "story" now that The Closer is closing up.  Be sure to give your suggestions!

Chick Wit

Dani and I cuss and discuss the whole Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson relationship and sound off on Twilight as well. Trampire? What are your thoughts?  

I had fun talking about the one-night-stander of the Olympics, Ryan Lochte. He's so real and honest and I just loved looking at him talking about him.

Mari shares a special love story with us - VEGAS STYLE, BABY!

Check out all the Chick-Wit this week.

This week's Chick-Wit

Mari and I dish about what makes a man hot on Chick Wit this week.  Read the tags on this post and tell us it's not all about hotness.  What defines sexy for you?

Softball is apprently not Olympic-worthy anymore. I discuss what is worthy of the Olympic's world stage.  What about you? What's your favorite Olympic event?

Stop by and say "Heeeyy!" to our guest chick, Dani. She fills in for an annivesary celebrating Mari. Dani dishes on talk show fluff.  Stop by and make her feel welcome.

Wanna be a guest chick? All you need to know is right here -- we look forward to hearing from you!

Chick Wit: Fifty Shades of are you serious?

I didn’t find Fifty Shades of Grey all that kinky. Say that at your next family reunion and you’ll pretty much silence a room of 40 people. I know. I did it. I silenced my entire family last month when I said, in casual conversation, that the content of Fifty Shades wasn’t as twisted as I’d imagined. (What? Don’t y’all talk about sex books at your family reunion?)

Seriously, I'm clearly hanging out at the wrong family's reunions.

The truth is that there was so much hype leading up to my reading these books that the actual “kinky f^@$ery”, as Christian and Ana call it, was just kind of blah to me. Honestly, I was more taken aback by the fact that she could walk on any given day since the story had the happy-yet-emo couple bumping uglies no less than four times. I also wondered why in the world EL James (author) could write such intimate details about their trysts in the elevator, (and the living room and the closet and her office) but never mentioned that they “cleaned up.” Not even a roll of tell-tale toilet paper was placed by their bed. Or in the elevator. Or on the boat. Or in the car. Good grief, I hope they cleaned up!

To keep reading and to chat with us about Fifty Shades, click HERE.

To The Movies: Pulp Fiction

This week, Momma's family goes to the movies and you're coming with us.  No, we are not all going to pile in the theater to see The Dark Knight. (But how flippin' fun would that be?) Instead, I'm going to demonstrate how every day life at mi casa is straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster.  Let's start with Pulp Fiction...

I'd like to thank my chick, Mari Farthing, for helping me to see that we are A-listers.  (PS - check out our new venture together - Chick Wit!)

Chick Wit: Of Reality TV

My chick, Mari & I have a new project:  Chick-Wit.com!  Each week we'll dish about something fun, and we invite you to dish right along with us.  Mari is fluent in Aqua and I speak in Lime -- who knew?

source

Way back in the olden days (1992), back when MTV played music videos, they tried out a new idea.

This is the true story... of seven strangers... picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real...The Real World.

Six episodes. Seven young people of different backgrounds, coming together to see where they mesh and where they … well, whatever the opposite of mesh is. I missed the show, but my good friend videotaped it (shut up) so I could watch it & it was fascinating. I was hooked. On to season 2 (with Dom the Scottish, lovable alcoholic) and then season 3 (Puck! Pedro!) and 4 (they’re in London! So cool!) and 5 (what were they doing in the shower?) and then we moved out of the country and we lost track of the show.

You were lucky to have moved. I fell in love with Jon, the cowboy from the LA season. His sole purpose was to experience more life than his small, cowboy town had to offer and I adored him for it. After he left, it just wasn't as appealing. (What? I was young, single, I'd have hit that...)

Click HERE to keep reading! 

The Run Down, Week 1

Sunday, May 13 - It's Mother's Day and what a better day to start training for Hot Mamas Run in September.  I do not run.  Freddy, Jason and Michael Meyers could be chasing me with a machete, a hatchet and a chainsaw, respectively, and I wouldn't run.  But, my friend Mari said, "Hey!  Let's train for this and run this together." I was high on Italian dressing from Zios and said, "Sure!"  So, here I am on Mother's Day, running.  I went on a half-mile loop in my neighborhood and it took me, two daughters, and two dogs 12 minutes to complete the loop.  We ran every other driveway-to-driveway.  I was knocked clean on my butt by our big lab, J.J., and I yelled at both dogs and one daughter to stop chasing rabbits through the neighbors' yards. At the end of our loop, Daughter 1 said, "I'm proud of you, Momma.  It doesn't matter what you look like to me."  That's encouraging.

Guess when I got these shoes?
The summer after Daughter 2 was born.
She's 8.

I learned three things:  1. I shouldn't attempt serious training/running with two dogs and/or two daughters. 2.  I need new shoes and my B-cups need a sports bra. (Who knew?) and 3.  I can still run.

Monday, May 14  - Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a kidney stone.  Within that day, the pain went away.  Today, it came back with a vengence.  Then, the stone blocked my pee inside of me - after I had drunk about a gallon of water.  I spent the day in the emergency room.  The first half of my stay I begged for a cath.  Having to pee and not being able to pee is nothing short of multiple levels of miserable.  If I could have gotten my hands on a drinking straw, I'd have cathed my own damn self.  True Story.  I go see the urologist tomorrow, and he'll most likely be removing said kidney stone.  I'll probably give him Daughter 1 out of gratitude, and then maybe on Wednesday, I'll be back to training again. 

I'm off to google at-home cath videos on youtube.

Tuesday, May 15 - Best sleep of my life today as my new BFF Dr. P, an urologist, dug a kidney stone out of my tube that carries my urine out of my body.  He left, however, a stint in his place.  Now, I have to pee all the time, but I CAN!  I can PEE!  My stent comes out Friday, and I will return to training on Saturday. I will not be performing self-caths.

Wednesday, May 16 - Stents suck.  Lortabs, not so much.

Thursday, May 17 - I went to work today.  I got caught up on my grading and only got up off my butt once to dash to the bathroom.  It was not an easy dash, and I may have even whimpered.  Again, stents suck.

Friday, May 18 - Just when I think I have no humility left, the nurse comes along and pulls what little remains right from my woowoo.  I thought it was my intestines.  Apparently stents are L O N G and are removed by pulling a string, while one stands naked in front of a nurse you've just met.  No dinner.  No dancing.  No flowers... just a little (big) tug and the stent is out.  But, to keep me completely miserable, I now have a spastic reaction in my bladder and kidneys and urethra.  I've never wanted to be able to run so much in all my life.    WHA--??  Surely, that's not the lortab talking...

Fancy Tommy and a few good people

I spent the weekend at the OWFI annual conference.  It was my first time to be at the conference, and I had a great time.  I won third place for my picture book A Walk With Mother Nature.  More than anything, though, I appreciated the opportunity to meet and get to know some fabulous people.

I gained valuable information from top-notch people in this industry like Lela Davidson and Chuck Sambuchino. 

In one of my sessions, I met a sweet older couple who came into the "Socialist Media Panel" to learn all about "twitters and email."  I served as their interpreter - no lie.  At one point the sweet female member of this couple said, "What does hashtag mean?. She also said to her partner, "Someone needs to teach me how to google."  And for the rest of the session, I sang (in my head, of course), "Teach me how to google! Teach me how to google! Teach me, teach me, teach me how to google 'cause all them bitches love me."  I was straight-up Oklahoma Swag District, yo.

I roomed with my friends Marilyn Boone and Denise Jarmola.  Every morning we woke up screaming and hitting the deck because we thought we were under attack by Diet Coke cans rupturing in our way-too-cold fridge.  Call me Kilgore, but I love the smell of exploded Diet Coke in the mornings.

I met a fabulous friend, Mari Farthing, whose blog I'd been following for some time.  OK, I didn't realize it was her until I got home and checked my blog roll and then realized it was her.  We're dork sisters and proud of it.  We've got some great things in the works together, including but not limited to a saucy 5K in September.  Don't worry, you'll get to hear all about it!  She promises to not let them pack up and go home until I finish.  Isn't she the best?

I ran into a real, live Ghostbuster.  Twice.  I saw him once with Mari at lunch and once on Sunday morning as he was checking out of the hotel.  I'd have rested a whole lot easier if I had know a Ghostbuster (or at least some guy with a real, live Ghostbuster costume) had been under the same roof with me.  I might not have jumped so high or screamed so loud during the morning Diet Coke bombings.

Finally, while lunching with Mari, we were introduced to the finest server Zio's had to offer:  Fancy Tommy.  Fancy Tommy intrigued and enthralled us.  He wrote his name backwards and upside down with TWO crayons in ONE hand.  We called him Fancy Tommy throughout our entire meal, but he only knew about it as we were paying our bill.  Very humbly, Fancy Tommy asked what we were doing in town - honestly, I'm sure he was looking to score with two 40 somethin'-year old mommas, but we're committed.  Sorry, Charlie!  Fancy Tommy!. 

We told him we were at the writing conference.  Then, in true beggar's form, I whipped out a bookmark and said, "Here's what I write!  Please follow my blog!  Please tell your momma and your aunts and your older sisters!  They'll love me, Fancy Tommy! They'll love me!  You?  Probably not so much."

None the less, I promised to write about him, and I always keep my promises.  I'm sure that Fancy Tommy bragged to his fellow Zio-ites because after I passed off my bookmark, we were offered more bread and more water (even though our glasses were full) and more anything at all.  We were impressed with their fruitless efforts to get a blog post devoted to them.  However, Fancy Tommy had our hearts with his service, his smile, and his offers to give us forgotten take-home boxes even before he knew I was a not-so-famous blogger.

Don't worry, Fancy Tommy!  When we run our 5K, we'll be back to carb load with you, my friend!