A Whole Bunch Of Nothing

My diamond on my engagement ring keeps snagging on things, and I'm afraid of losing it. I lost my original diamond when I was five months pregnant with Daughter 1. It killed me because I just knew that people would think I was some knocked-up, unwed teenage mother--never mind that I was thirty-years-old. So, I'm currently wearing my anniversary band, which I love, but it makes me feel like I'm being unfaithful to Brian. Like I'm advertising I'm not married, but I do celebrate anniversaries or something like that. Who knows why my brain operates the way it does.

I know! I know! My brain operates the way it does because I don't get enough sleep. I just don't. For reasons I'd rather not disclose and unfortunately have nothing to do with covert activities or state secrets, I'm waking up every night/morning at three and staying up for about a half hour. Then it takes me another half hour to go back to sleep. Then I wake up two hours later. I wish I could be a glamorous spy like Jammie Lee Curtis in True Lies. I already know how to do a strip tease. C'mon, CIA, gimme a chance!

I had lunch last week with two of my favorite bloggers, Stephanie of Hugs, Kisses and Snot and Sabine of Sabine of Suburbia. If y'all aren't reading them, you should be. They were both in the cast of Listen To Your Mother | Oklahoma City. You'll love their stories--and those stories go live tomorrow on YouTube! I've had a post-lunch, thank you message started to them but every time I get on Facebook to finish it and send it, someone else bongs a message to me and I get distracted. Y'all owe Stephanie and Sabine an apology for my tardiness.

This week, I dropped Daughter 1 off at another Summer STEM Academy. She's already having so much fun. It's just weird leaving your child in a college dorm. Just. Weird. There's no possible way that the baby who crawled out of her baby bed at eleven months is old enough to be left on a college campus. But, that's exactly where she is ... learning about food. Having a great time.  Instagramming pictures of her "second ever dorm room." Whatever, kid. Your room will always be in my house, you got it??!?

And finally, my cousins are coming today! Our moms are sisters. We grew up doing a lot of stuff together--trips to St. Louis, heckling our moms when they had a car wreck, you know stuff like that. I have a big chunk of my book Crazy On Board devoted to our antics. In fact, my own momma is currently reading the book and laughing as we speak. (It makes me feel weird when people read my book while I'm around.) I can only imagine that my mom is reading about the time my cousin Whitney and I busted a mob ring in St. Louis. We went to KFC afterwards. It was a big party. In honor of Courtney and Whitney being here, we're eating fried chicken. You only wish your cousins were as cool as mine are.

I'm hoping they let me dress them alike this week.

Late-Night Thoughts On Snow Days

I'll admit it. I love me a good snow day. But I also love summer days as well. That's why, tonight, as I watch the late-night weather bringing me reports of inches and inches of snow overnight and we contemplate the possibility of a snow day tomorrow, I have many thoughts running through my head.

I'm halfway through Gone Girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the last reader in the world to get through this book. I've attempted it six other times. I could never make it to this point. Today, I hit that point where I want to finish it. If we had a snow day, I could finish reading Gone Girl.

I'm about two-thirds of the way through my fourth book in the TMI Mom series, Girlfriends. I have the remaining chapters outlined, and the words are in my head. If we had a snow day, I could bang out a big portion of the rest of that book. 

Since about a month ago, I haven't slept in. My body loves to sleep late. I function better when I can wake up after nine a.m.. I'm a nicer person and can get more accomplished. If we had a snow day, I'd be so nice everyone would love being around me. 

On the other hand ...

The Daughters can barely be nice to each other when they get home from school--a snow day might push us all over the edge where tequila is poured over our morning cereal.

In late May, early June, quite possibly on the fourth of July, when the weather is nice, and we want to be outside reading books and playing in the pool, we'll still be in school because Old Man Winter went bats#!+ crazy.

Either way, I can tell you this much: Imma have to do laundry because Momma needs a clean pair of panties. 

#NaBloPoMo: Accomplishment Of Which I Am Most Proud

What accomplishment am I most proud of? Hint: There's not just one. For the sake of time, I'll give you three...

It'd be easy to say that I'm most proud of my books. Just eighteen months ago, I was dreaming of being a best-selling author. And now I am one.

I am proud that I set a goal to have my books published and am meeting that goal. I'm proud that The Daughters are seeing hard work and dedication paying off. I love that they are sharing their dreams with me but I'm prouder still that their are sharing their plans to make those dreams come true.

I'm proud of a little thing called Listen To Your Mother. I met Misti Kae almost three years ago when we were cast in the NWA production. Last year, we were selected to produce a show in OKC. This year, we're producing a show ... again!

I'm proud that this little show is a nationwide movement that gives motherhood a mic.

I'm proud of my family. My hubby is an amazing rock star--He rocks the classroom, he's rocking his health, he rocks daddy-dom. He's nothing short of amazing--and I'm not just saying that because he puts up with my shenanigans and doesn't whimper or mutter things like it's been a good run, but Imma be going now.  

Our daughters are beautiful, talented, spunky, sassy, strong-willed, smart, dedicated to their dreams, and mine. All mine. I chose them before I knew them. I made them. I birthed them. I love them and am so proud of them.

So, accomplishment (singular) that I'm most proud of? I haven't a clue. But, accomplishments (plural) that I'm most proud of? There's not enough space on the internet for me to list them all.

#NaBloPoMo: Judging Books By Their Covers

I would make the world's worst eye witness to a crime or an accident.

What was the perp wearing? Ummm ... black or maybe white. Long sleeves or ... short sleeves.

What color was his hair? He was either bald or had a mullet. Maybe he had a 'fro.

What did he do? He robbed that woman. Unless he was petting a dog. Or wait, I'm sure he helped that  Boy Scout across the busy street.

I'm horrible when it comes to immediately remembering details. But, I totally judge books by their covers. It's probably what drew me to Buzz Books USA first and foremost.

I like book covers that make me stop in my tracks and think, "WOW! What's that about?"

I like book covers that pop, and I kinda hafta blink.

I like book covers that catch my eye and make me smile or laugh or giggle or sigh.

But, I really, really like my book covers.

Wordless Wednesday: Getting Lucky Cover Reveal--SQUEE!

Coming November 2013!!

Come See Me ... and Malena Lott

Y'all might know that I have a little book or two out there in book land (TMI Mom Oversharing My Life and TMI Mom Bites The Big Apple) published by Buzz Books, USA, which is the brain child of author Malena Lott. And lucky for you and me, Malena has written a couple of new books and will be making a stop in Tulsa to get together with readers and talk about her new books!

Twin Falls is a young adult paranormal book and written under the pen name Lena Brown. After her mother dies mysteriously, Eve is chased to the hometown she never knew: Twin Falls, Texas. But the silent main street is just a facade for the secret underground colony of angels. A mysterious school of twins who share an identity and a mission. Just days from her sixteenth birthday, Eve learns about her twin and the enemy who won’t stop until the Order of the Messengers are wiped out. Will the powers she receives on her birthday be enough to keep them alive? And can she control whom she loves or will her destiny decide for her?

Family Charms is a women's lit book. Marlo came home from school one day to find her mother gone. Twenty years later, she gets a letter from Elizabeth inviting her three daughters on a trip around the world to see where she’s been the last 20 years – and what kept her away. What follows is an emotional ride for a family torn apart by abandonment, infidelity, cancer and a fear of commitment. Marlo, Taryn and Amelia are three sisters as different as they come, but united in their feelings of betrayal. Is it ever too late to trust in love? Take a journey around the world to learn the meaning of family and forgiveness.









I'd invite you to come see Malena (and me!) and bring your sisters, your girlfriends, your mommas and your daughters on Tuesday, July 30 at 6:30 at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. You can pick up a copy of Twin Falls or Family Charms and have a great evening full of friendship!

Weekly Run Down--June 15

Whew! What a week! My most popular post this week was Conversation of the Week in which Daughter 2 gets caught (kinda) shaving her legs.

But, I had a lot of fun creating a playlist for Prancercising for this week's Five for Friday.

I've spent the week on the airwaves pimping TMI Mom Oversharing My Life. (Pimpin' ain't easy, yo. Sing it with me. It's a song, right?)

I was featured on KXII at the ten minutes before it's humanly necessary for the day to begin. I needed a nap afterwards. Check out my segment HERE.

Lisanne at KTEN and I sat and chatted and giggled together--not to sound all stalky, but she could be my best friend. Check out that segment HERE.

Friday morning, I was featured on KDFW where I talked about broken lady parts. Check out that segment HERE.

Finally, if you're in the southern Oklahoma, north Texas area, come see me TODAY (Saturday) from 9 - 11 at Buffy's Cupcakes on Main in Denison and get a signed book. A portion of each book sold will be donated to Buffy for her cancer treatments.

DFW peeps: I'll be at Bishop Street Market from 1 - 4. Come and get yourself a funny read and hug my neck.

I can't wait to see y'all!

Weekly Run Down

What a week! It started with my book launch. (You've gotten your copy, right?) Be sure you come and see me--there are lots of opportunities to do so!

TMI Mom Oversharing My Life was featured on The 4-Crows.

It also was featured on The RHOK.

The Domestic Artiste is giving away a copy.

And my chicks at Chick-Wit--Man, how I love my chicks!--they spent the week talking about TMI Mom Oversharing My Life.

Check out my TMI Mom Facebook page--my publisher Buzz Books is giving away an Advanced Reader Copy to one lucky "Sharer."

TMI Mom Oversharing BOOK EVENTS!

TMI Mom Oversharing My Life--The day is here!  My book is LIVE!  I couldn't be more proud if I'd have birthed it from my own loins...which kinda, sometimes, felt like I did!

Catch me here—I’d love to see you!

Dates, times and places are subject to change. New dates will be added as well as they are confirmed.

April 14          2:00 – 4:00    Full Circle Bookstore

                                                1900 NW Expressway

                                                Oklahoma City, OK

April 25          6:00 – 7:30    Ranch Heights Elementary

                                                5100 David Lane

                                                Bartlesville, OK

May 4             1:00 – 1:15    OWFI Reading Room—Embassy Suites, Norman, OK

                                                2501 Conference Drive

                                                Norman, OK

May 4             4:30 – 5:30    OWFI Autograph Party—Embassy Suites, Norman, OK

                                                2501 Conference Drive

                                                Norman, OK

May 5             2:00                Listen To Your Mother show—Will Rogers Theater

                                                4322 N Western

                                                Oklahoma City, OK

                                                Ticket Information HERE

May 11           9:00 – 10:30  Weeze’s Café

                                                328 S Dewey

                                                Bartlesville, OK

May 19           3:00 – 4:30    Oak Park United Methodist Church

                                                601 Brentwood

                                                Bartlesville, OK

May                 TBA                 KUAF--“Ozarks At Large”

                                                NPR Interview—details to be announced!            

May                 TBA                 KNWA

                                                TV Interview—details to be announced!  

May 31           5:00 – 7:00    Nightbird Books

                                                205 W Dickson

                                                Fayetteville, AR

June 1             1:00 – 3:00    Hastings

                                                6808 S Rogers

                                                Ft. Smith, AR

June 11                                  KTEN

                                                TV Interview—details to be announced!

June 12                                  KXII

                                                TV Interview—details to be announced!

June 13                                  KDWF—Good Day Dallas

                                                TV Interview—details to be announced!

June 15          9:30 – 11:30  Buffy’s Cupcakes on Main

                                                409 W Main

                                                Denison, TX

June 15          2:00 – 4:00    A Real Bookstore

                                                250 Townplace

                                                Fairview, TX

Countdown: Shower Convos

In counting down to TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life's release on April 1, I'm taking your suggestions and writing what YOU want me to write about as determined by the likes on our TMI Mom Facebook page.  Today's suggestion comes from Jennifer McMurrain. Email me Jennifer--You've won a signed copy of the book!

It never fails--I step into the shower each and every morning and The Daughters show up and are ready to have a conversation.

Countdown: Out To Eat

In counting down to TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life's release on April 1, I'm taking your suggestions and writing what YOU want me to write about as determined by the likes on our TMI Mom Facebook page.  Today's suggestion comes from Natalie. Email me Natalie--You've won an ebook!

Before we had kids, Brian and I went out to eat quite a bit . We both worked and had busy schedules and it was just easier for us to meet at a restaurant than it was for us to go home, cook, eat, clean and continue with our busy-ness. We knew that once we had children that would change. Once we had children, we'd all meet up at home at the end of a long day, cook a nutritiously balanced dinner, sit around our table and share with each other our day's events.

Or not.

It turns out that life is actually busier with kids. Who knew? (Apparently everyone. Everyone knew this.)

Before long, we knew where kids ate free, where kids ate half-price, where kids were welcome and where we were blacklisted from ever eating at again. Our favorite places were new places because they had never seen us before.

One particular new place was a BBQ joint called Cheeks. We checked them out one Saturday night. It was on the same side of town as my own momma's home, so we'd driven by Cheeks on several occasions dropping off the girls for the day.

That night, Daughter 1 ordered bologna--it's the only "meat" she'll consume. Daughter 2, who was three years old at the time, ordered a rib. Brian and I ordered combo meals because we like to sample it all.

The owner stepped out about the same time we got the ticket and asked us how we liked it. Brian fed him his standard line, "It was horrible. I had to eat it all to keep someone else from eating it." Ha. Ha. Ha.

Daughter 2, who has her daddy's gift of gab, said the same thing, "It was horrible. I ate it all." 

The owner then asked Daughter 2, "Are you paying tonight?"

Brian and I both said, "Yep." That. That's when it got serious.

"But, Momma," she said very aware that everyone at the table, including the owner was watching her, "I don't have any money."

The owner chuckled and said, "Don't worry about money." 

Daughter 2 smiled. 

"You can just stay and wash all the dishes tonight." 

Daughter 2's smile disappeared. 

"Come on back with me and let's get started. Your folks can pick you up in the morning." 

Daughter 2's lower lip quivered. Without a second thought, she latched onto my neck and buried her head in hair. She whispered, "Momma, don't leave me here; he's a stranger."

The owner patted her on her back and laughed as he moved on to the next table. She stayed clinged to my torso.

Brian paid our tab, and she didn't unwrap her legs from my waist.

We walked to the minivan, and she didn't raise her head from my shoulders.

Finally, we were able to get her off of my body and strapped into her car seat. 

"Thanks for paying, Daddy," she said with a shaky little voice. "You were just teasing, right?"

Her daddy reached back to her seat and patted her knees, "Baby doll," he began, "We're going to take you back after they close so you can wash all the dishes."

The shrieking lasted until we pulled into our driveway approximately twelve minutes later. She slept on my neck that night and every night for three weeks afterwards. We had to take an alternate route to my own momma's every morning for drop off The Daughters so we wouldn't drive by or in the general direction of Cheeks. 

Cheeks has since closed, but the shaking continues still.

What's a couple of years of therapy?

Busy Little Beaver

A while back, I was tagged to do The Next Big Thing blog hop to share information about my debut book TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life (coming this April to book-selling places everywhere). If you think that I'm just sitting back, watching Modern Family reruns and eating bonbons, you'd be wrong. Well ... you'd be half right. I am watching DVR'd episodes of Modern Family and I am eating bonbons (as evidenced by my butt), but I've been busy writing book two, which is set to be released this fall.  The second book, Getting Frisky, is the topic of today's Next Big Thing blog hop.

Conversation of the Week

Daughter 1: When your book comes out will you be famous?

Me: I hope so because the more famous I am the more people will hopefully buy my book.

Daughter 1: I hope you'll be famous too because I want you to sell a lot of books.

Me: Ahh ... Thanks!

Daughter 1: Well, maybe then you won't have to cook. No offense, but I am kinda getting tired of your cooking.

Peep Show-TMI Mom Preview!!

Yesterday I was tagged on Facebook by my fabulous publisher, Malena Lott, of Buzz Books. The challenge I was tagged in was this: Go to page 77 of your own book or manuscript, count down seven lines and then list the seven lines that follow. Well, TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life has not been released yet, but I still have my grubby, little hands on a copy of my manuscript. Woot! So today, I'm giving to you, my loyal readers, a sneak peak of the funny that's about to invade bookstores everywhere in April.

Conversation of the Week

My own momma and I, leaving the theater after seeing Les Miserables.

Next Big Thing: Oversharing My Life

 My chick, Dani Stone, tagged me for the Next Big Thing blog hop. I’m more than happy to participate because 1. Dani is sugar and spice and everything nice, and 2. I get a chance to talk about TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life with you.

The Season of GivingAWAY: From the Henhouse

I know cool chicks. I can't think of one of my chick friends who doesn't ooze coolness from her very being on a daily basis. And because I know cool chicks, I get to do cool things. Today, the cool thing I'm doing is pimping my fellow sister chicks from Chick-Wit.com. Normally, I'd tell ya that pimpin' ain't easy, but with these chicks, pimpin's a breeze.

Get it. Get it now.

The weather is turning chilly. Be sure to download my ebook so you'll have something to read this weekend. You'll be glad you did. You'll also get to see some cool NYC pics from my iPhone AND you'll get a bonus chapter from my new book, Oversharing my Life, which debuts this spring.

Get TMI Mom Bites the Big Apple for your Kindle or your Nook.

Friday Films: TMI Mom Bites the Big Apple

You've gotten the book, right? Great! Leave me a review.

But you... yes, you. The one who's looking sheepish behind that computer screen. You haven't gotten it yet? What in the world are you waiting for? Go now and get it. 

Kindle

Nook

Also, while you're getting all productive and whatnot, go register yourself for a pair of free boots from Country Outfitter. Everyone needs a pair of free boots.

I bit the Big Apple

A nationally syndicated talk show contacted me about three weeks ago. They apparently had been following this blog and my Twitter and my Facebook. They liked what they read. They thought I was funny, and they wanted to feature me on their show about women who overshare their lives on the internet.  Weird, huh? Was I really an oversharer? I mean sure, I talk about bladder control and my cup size and my lack of razor-meeting-legs, but oversharing? OK. Fine. I see their point.