Weekly Run Down

Monday, August 6 - I did not walk today. Instead, I spent 42 hours in a north-bound car with two cranky Daughters. This did not cost me any calories, but it did shave years off my life.

Tuesday, August 7 - Word to the wise: Do not attempt major walking after eating Mexican.
Public apology to the people walking behind me: Sorry, but the beans were good.

Wednesday, August 8 - A friend came over to plan our curriculum today. We sat around and chatted. I am not sorry about that at all - everyone needs some down time and Momma took advantage.

Thursday, August 9 - I walked my two miles, and I talked about Fifty Shades at the same time. Good heavens, I'm good at multi-tasking!

Friday, August 10 - I didn't run today, but we did watch the ponies run. That was exercise, y'all.  Run to the paddock, run to the window, run to the track, cheer, hang my head in defeat. Repeat ad nauseum.

Come and join me! Be sure to register to win entry into a the Hot Mama's Run HERE!

A little alone time - Hot Mamas Run GIVEAWAY!

When I committed to be a part of the Hot Mamas Run, I wasn't really sure why I was doing it.

I'm not a runner.  Even if someone were chasing me, I don't know that I could actually run. When I walk fast, though, I pretend I look like Lolo Jones.

I'm not athletic.  I like to play sports. I like to watch sports. I like to cheer loudly at sports, but I'm not an athlete.

I'm not competitive.  OK - I'm a little bit competitive if I know I can win.  If I can't win, then I become non-competitive, and I become the best loser ever!

Weekly Run Down

Monday, July 30 - I took The Daughters with me to the track.  This was a good exercise in not killing my kids in public.  Between my speed walking, The Daughter's antics (such as "racing" on the elipiticals and loudly arguing about whether Phineas and Ferb are in the fourth grade or the fifth grade) and the little old lady who tried to converse with me every single time I lapped her, I think it was a good exercise in not killing anyone in public.

Tuesday, July 31 - I not only did my walking, but I also texted two different friends while walking. I didn't fall down.  And I only tripped twice.

Wednesday, July 32 - No walking today because of the track's wonky hours, but I did get my classroom about 90% set up.  That totally counts for something.

Kinda like a Kardashian:
 Beautiful but useless

Thursday, July 33 - The shower is done! The shower is done! And this morning, we turned it on and the pipes went to rattling and then the water went to ... no where.  I stood there, naked, looking at my beautiful shower whimpering.  The jack hammer guys will be here on Tuesday to jack hammer out the closet and replace the shower pipe then recement the closet and maybe, just maybe, on Wednesday we can shower again.  Until then, I'm just gonna whimper.

Friday, July 34 - Still whimpering, but I did my walking.  I like to think that the whimpering added an aerobic aspect that I've been missing.

Are you going to do the Hot Mamas Run with me on September 30?  Tune in on Monday to find out who you can win your entry!!

Weekly Run Down

Last week on vacation, I walked approximately 638 miles through theme parks, water parks, parking lots, and boat tours.  It counts, but not as serious training.  This week, I've got to get serious.

Monday, July 16 - Just for fun, I walked a 5K. My time was not great by any standard.  I plan on walking a 5K each Monday to make sure my time is getting better.  I don't want the Hot Mamas to pack up and leave me behind in September!  Also, I'm not sure I fully understand the term "just for fun"...

Tuesday, July 17 - Two miles in 30 minutes.  Plus, I texted, answered the phone and carried on a nice conversation about my sister.  Good heavens! I had no idea I was that talented!

My hair looks only slightly more in control.
Slightly.
Source

Wednesday, July 18 - You know what I like about walking with the 80 and older set?  I'm the fastest one on the track.  And the youngest. I am a freakin' rock star!  Two miles in 30 minutes.

Thursday, July 19 - So... when one (me) brags about being a rock star on the geriatric walking track, one (me) will end up with only three hours of sleep and then will trip four (4) times on the geriatric track and only walk an hour in 20 minutes.  Karma? I hear ya.

Friday, July 20 - Did my two miles in 30 minutes.  Forgot my shower stuff, though.  Steer clear - I stink!

Weekly Run Down

This is what a 6.8 incline looks like. At least to me.
Source

Monday, July 2 - Killing two birds with one stone, The Daughters and I went to the Baptist church to get our walk on today and then to SHOWER! The Daughters jumped on the elipticals and turned on Spongebob.  I hopped on the treadmill and began walking as I got my iPod set up.  Eventually, I was unable to walk because I couldn't even stand up.  In an effort to keep from falling right on my a$$, I grabbed the bars until I could figure out what was wrong with me and I unplugged my earbud, letting Def Leppard sing about "Pouring Some Sugar On Me".  I reached up to hit the emergency stop button and noticed that the incline was at 6.2, then 6.4, then 6.6, then 6.8.  Apparently there was a short and I wasn't having issues with gravity or grace.  Well, no issues that weren't entirely normal for me.  I hit the stop button and opted for the track instead. 

Tuesday, July 3 -  Back to the Family Life Center where I did two miles in 33 minutes. I also saw an older woman tell her husband (who was on the possessed treadmill) to watch her purse while she walked the track.  Then she set her purse down in front of him on the treadmill.  It shot out behind him and trippped him up.  He hollered out, "What the s#!+?"  Makes my Def Leppard episode not quite so bad.

Wednesday, July 4 - Happy Independence Day, America!  I stayed home all day and tried to stay awake after being up ALL. NIGHT. LONG. with a sick child.

Thursday, July 5 - Sick kid is better.  Momma is not.  I'm not sick, but DAYUM! I'm tired!  My intention was to go home after my afternoon meeting and then head to the Family Life Center to walk.  Instead, I went home and sat on the couch and tried not to drool.

Friday, July 6 - Did you know today was Friday?  I did not.  I thought it was Thursday.  Because I thought it was Thursday, I thought the Family Life Center was open until 9:00.  It's Friday, though.  They close at 1:00.  It was 9:00 when I realized it was not Thursday.  Welcome to my world, people!

Don't forget to register for the Blacklisted from the PTA givewaway!!  

Weekly Run-Down

Monday, June 25 - I woke up at 7:00 to do my walk this morning.  I left the house at 8:00.  That's how slow mornings are around here.  Here's what I learned:
1.  I MUST sing along and sing loud whenever I hear "I Love Rock And Roll."

Source

2.  I'm certain that 72 degrees at the end of June is a helluva lot hotter than 72 degrees in mid-October.

The Run Down, Week # I-have-no-idea

I took last week to recoup from my knee being a pain in the a$$.  (It's a very talented knee in that it can travel up my anatomy.)  The weekend was spent at my family summer get-together, where I did walk a mile from the waterfalls back to our cabin.  And Monday found us with some great friends visiting from out of state.  Tuesday was my return day.  Let's start there, shall we?

The Run Down - Week 3

Sunday, June 10 -
Monday, June 11 -
Tuesday, June 12 -
Wednesady, June 13 -

Thursday, June 14 -

Friday, June 15 -

When I was 21 years old, I did a cartwheel down a hill and broke my kneecap.  Actually, a ligament or a tendon or something along those lines tore and when it tore from my kneecap, it pulled part of my kneecap with it.  The next day (yes, the next day) my own momma took me to the ER.  She told me all night as I lay in the recliner with bags of ice on my knee, that it was nothing and suck it up.  When I tried to walk to the bathroom and literally could not even pick up my foot, she decided to take me in.  They drained about two gallons of fluid off the knee.  The osteo-guy who was on call in the ER that day, put me in a cast from my hip to my toes for eight weeks.  I'll say it again.  EIGHT WEEKS.

During those eight weeks, I learned to walk up and down stairs with a cast on; I did exercises with my casted leg hoping to not suffer total atrophe; and, my leg hair grew approximately nine inches.  When he cut my cast off, I discovered that I couldn't walk one step because I had suffered total atrophe and my leg hair really was braidable.  The doctor sent me to physical therapy for eight weeks and told me to return at that time and we'd schedule surgery.  Followed by eight weeks of a cast again.  I grabbed my crutches and dragged my right leg out of there, sobbing the entire way.  I did my physical therapy and never went to see the doctor again.  My right knee remains weak to this day.

My left knee - my good knee - was a good compensator.  It gave me no trouble at all ... until a couple of years ago.  At that time, it started showing signs of major weakness.  I went to the doctor and he said it was weak.  I did physical therapy again and it doesn't seem to bother me much.

Unless I run.

This past weekend, it bothered me much.  Basically, I can walk extremely well, and I do.  I cannot run in any way, shape or form.  Unless I'm being chased by zombies, then I'm assuming I'll run until my left knee totally sells me out.  So, I contacted Abbi, who I'm assuming is Ms Hot Mama herself.  I asked her if I could walk the 5K.  I know I can do that.  Running?  That will be out of the question, though.  She said that any woman can walk, run, jog, or wheel chair themselves through the 5K.  I love Abbi.  I plan on writing her name in for president in November.

So, I took this week off to make my knee happy (it's talking to me again) and I will change up my training habits some.  (I actually did the C25K and powerwalked instead of running and my time was just as good.  My body was prepping me.)

So, my knee is no longer causing me to cry out profane vocabulary in the middle of church, so I believe that I'm good to go now.

AND??!?!!  You should TOTALLY join me in the Hot Mama Run/Walk.  We'll do this together!

The Rundown, Week 2

Sunday, June 3 - Yesterday, I thought it'd be brilliant for us to walk to the local crafts festival at a park that is not too far from our house.  We left at 2 (in the heat of the day) and called my mom at 5:30 to come get us and take us home.  Sometimes it's good to feel like a teenager again.  Because we hiked a zillion miles on top of my C25K workout, I went easy today and just did the mile loop.  I made myself do the every other driveway bit.  I'm certain that I still look ridiculous while running, but I'm not looking as ridiculous for as long.

Monday, June 4 - I bought the clinical strength Secret.  I need this like you don't even want to imagine.

Tuesday, June 5 - Wait - WHAT?  How did Tuesday sneak on by without my noticing??  Probably because I was so busy pimping my The View Video.  Check it out!

Wednesday, June 6 - Somehow tonight I did the C25K week 1 day 2.  I really thought I was farther along than this.  What do I know? Tonight is The Dad's birthday - get registered for the giveaway today.

Thursday, June 7 - There was no organized running today.  BUT, while at the softball fields, I did dash from field 8 to field 2 (it's a lot farther apart than it sounds) when Daughter 1 got stung by a wasp.  Then we dashed back.  Then I dashed from field 8 to field 2 to take Daughter 1 to play with another team.  Then I dashed back.  Then I dashed from field 8 to field 2 with Daughter 2 in tow to watch Daughter 1.  While it wasn't running, it was dashing and I think I'll let that count for today.

Friday, June 8 -  A very, VERY tiny part of me misses school so that I could have some rhyme and rhythm to my schedule.  That part is small, but it's still here...Next week Imma hafta figure this schedule out.

Don't forget to register for The Dad's Birthday Giveaway!

The Rundown, Week 1, for realz this time

The enemy

Sunday, May 27 - I downloaded the C25K app and then my phone locked up, so I went with my standard every-other-driveway approach.  It worked well until a little over halfway done, I had to pass a parked car and then another car was quickly approaching, so I felt sandwiched in and cut back toward the curb before I was actually passed the parked car and took myself out with it's back bumper.  But I didn't fall.  As I righted myself, I stepped on a sugar gum ball and twisted my ankle.  But I didn't fall.  I was so relieved at not falling or getting hit by a car that I almost pee'd my pants.  So, I cut my route short and headed back toward home (because my bladder is about as strong as a broken rubber band) and raced toward home.  Good news:  I ran most of the way back home which is to say that's the most I've ever run.  Bad news:  I'm gonna need to do a LOT of kegel exercises between now and September 30.

Monday, May 28 - I totally stalked my BFF Rachael and found her at the OTHER Fleet Feet store. She sold me a sports bra.  The first bra was akin to a straight jacket.  For a measly B-cup, I was requiring a whole lot of spandex.  Daughter 2 pointed out that the first bra actually showed my nipplets.  "No one wants to see your nipplets when you run.  Probably no one wants to even see you run." I told her it wasn't  a topless run; she said it didn't matter.  Rachael hooked me up with a kindler, gentler, black sports bra that hides my nipplets.  I think I'm all set.  Also, Daughter 2 doesn't get to watch me run anymore.

Tuesday, May 29 - Today was one of those days.  'Nuff said.

Wednesday, May 30 - I caved to peer pressure and did the first workout of the Couch to 5K app.  I cooled down with some yoga.  And by "yoga" I mean I stood in the neighbor's sprinkler and cried.

Thursday, May 31 - When it storms and I have to "sleep" with one of The Daughters, you can bet your sweet patootie that I will NOT be sleeping.  I've been off all day long and did nothing.  I'd like to apologize for that, but I'm too tired to think of the words.

Friday, June 1 - I should have run today.  Instead I woke up at 3 in the AM and wrote.  Then I went back to bed at 8:00 when I started getting weird.  Then I woke up at 11:00 and went grocery shopping.  When my kids have to eat a spoon full of baking soda for breakfast, it's time to shop.  Then The Dad proposed an impromptu date night and then I crashed in bed. (Not because of the date night, though.)  I shall run tomorrow.

Saturday, June 2 - I woke up at 8.  On a Saturday.  I know!  Completely out of character.  I did my C25K workout and confirm that I cannot run prettily. (It's a word.)

Running Porn

There are many reasons I'm not a porn star.  The main reason is that I do not want to see myself in that position those positions.  It's not that I don't enjoy those porn-like positions with my own husband in our own bedroom, which is not hard-wired with video equipment, by the by.  But, I have no desire to look at myself in that situation those situations.  Funny thing:  I have the same feelings about my running.

The Run Down, Week 1 again

Sunday, May 20 - Today I had urethra spasms that wore me out.  Too much info?  I will run again.  This week.  This is MY week.

Monday, May 21 - This may be my week, but today is not my day.  I did not take a Lortab.  I did take 8 ibuprofen.  Baby steps, my friends.

Tuesday, May 22 - I made Daughter 2 take the dogs out BEFORE I went out, which meant she was too tired to actually finish the whole mile with me.  I, however, finished a mile - running every other driveway - in 19 minutes.  I cooled down with some yoga.  And maybe some savage yelling.  Maybe.

Wednesday, May 23 - I did my same route in 17 minutes.  That's good, right?  I also did the route with my headphones hanging down from my ears and NOT plugged into my phone.  That's not so good, right?  I wondered why my thoughts were so loud...

Thursday, May 24 - Today was my last day of the school year.  I came home and crashed on the couch.    It doesn't matter how great of a school year I've had, I find myself completely and utterly drained once I check out for the summer.  I'll get my runs in this weekend.

a little taste of my imagination.
Source

Friday, May 25 - The Dad and I were properly fitted for shoes. (More on that tomorrow.)  This involved running on a treadmill and a video camera.  It was almost a deal-breaker for me.  I got great shoes, however, and planned a cool walk to break them in.  But we didn't get to The Dad's folks' house until after dark, and they live out in the middle of nowhere, and visions of snakes and skunks and ax murderers ran rampant through my brain.  So, while my imagination ran wild, I did not.  Saturday, I'll run.  Definitely Saturday.

The Run Down, Week 1

Sunday, May 13 - It's Mother's Day and what a better day to start training for Hot Mamas Run in September.  I do not run.  Freddy, Jason and Michael Meyers could be chasing me with a machete, a hatchet and a chainsaw, respectively, and I wouldn't run.  But, my friend Mari said, "Hey!  Let's train for this and run this together." I was high on Italian dressing from Zios and said, "Sure!"  So, here I am on Mother's Day, running.  I went on a half-mile loop in my neighborhood and it took me, two daughters, and two dogs 12 minutes to complete the loop.  We ran every other driveway-to-driveway.  I was knocked clean on my butt by our big lab, J.J., and I yelled at both dogs and one daughter to stop chasing rabbits through the neighbors' yards. At the end of our loop, Daughter 1 said, "I'm proud of you, Momma.  It doesn't matter what you look like to me."  That's encouraging.

Guess when I got these shoes?
The summer after Daughter 2 was born.
She's 8.

I learned three things:  1. I shouldn't attempt serious training/running with two dogs and/or two daughters. 2.  I need new shoes and my B-cups need a sports bra. (Who knew?) and 3.  I can still run.

Monday, May 14  - Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a kidney stone.  Within that day, the pain went away.  Today, it came back with a vengence.  Then, the stone blocked my pee inside of me - after I had drunk about a gallon of water.  I spent the day in the emergency room.  The first half of my stay I begged for a cath.  Having to pee and not being able to pee is nothing short of multiple levels of miserable.  If I could have gotten my hands on a drinking straw, I'd have cathed my own damn self.  True Story.  I go see the urologist tomorrow, and he'll most likely be removing said kidney stone.  I'll probably give him Daughter 1 out of gratitude, and then maybe on Wednesday, I'll be back to training again. 

I'm off to google at-home cath videos on youtube.

Tuesday, May 15 - Best sleep of my life today as my new BFF Dr. P, an urologist, dug a kidney stone out of my tube that carries my urine out of my body.  He left, however, a stint in his place.  Now, I have to pee all the time, but I CAN!  I can PEE!  My stent comes out Friday, and I will return to training on Saturday. I will not be performing self-caths.

Wednesday, May 16 - Stents suck.  Lortabs, not so much.

Thursday, May 17 - I went to work today.  I got caught up on my grading and only got up off my butt once to dash to the bathroom.  It was not an easy dash, and I may have even whimpered.  Again, stents suck.

Friday, May 18 - Just when I think I have no humility left, the nurse comes along and pulls what little remains right from my woowoo.  I thought it was my intestines.  Apparently stents are L O N G and are removed by pulling a string, while one stands naked in front of a nurse you've just met.  No dinner.  No dancing.  No flowers... just a little (big) tug and the stent is out.  But, to keep me completely miserable, I now have a spastic reaction in my bladder and kidneys and urethra.  I've never wanted to be able to run so much in all my life.    WHA--??  Surely, that's not the lortab talking...